Once, birthdays were days of self-loathing, intensified.
As a child, I discovered my birth caused great disappointment because I wasn’t a boy, and my name was a back-up. When I was transferred to a new kindergarten, I hatched a plan and told my new friends I was “Christine,” not realizing it meant Christ-follower. Such was the loathing for my own name.
As years passed, I strived hard to prove my worth.
But it was Cliff who reminded, and continues to remind me, that he loves me not for what I’ve done or not done. He loves me for me.
Cliff’s love, reflective of God’s, reminds me of a God-encounter I had six years ago, when I, in tears, asked God what the purpose of my life could possibly be, felt Him say to me, “Your name 蔚 (Wai) refers to the splendor of the sky, and 佳 (Jia) means goodness. Your life’s mission is thus to display my goodness as a banner in the sky. Do you not see the cross on a kite?”
Since then, I’ve come to discover what Cliff has always told me all along- to embrace who God made me to be. That in spite of the vitriol and hate, disappointment and rejection that I receive from time to time, I needn’t cave in to naysayers or haters.
I’m grateful- for every one of you who came and teared and shared how this space has blessed you.
If you have an origin story of rejection, I want you to know- God’s redemption is greater. You are not a mistake. Other people’s brokenness cannot break you. Your pain has a purpose. No matter what people say about you, you can celebrate you.
* If you’d like a copy of Dream Brave, order yours today anywhere where books are sold or visit www.kitedreams.org/dreambrave.