“You can leave now.”
I never thought I’d have the strength to ever say those words to my abuser.
For years, I’d built an armour of awards and achievements, hoping the child in me would feel safe, invincible. I earned my approval from older, controlling figures who reminded me of what was familiar — thinking that this time, the story would end differently.
I didn’t know that punishing that little girl with success, perfection, and more— was killing her inside.
On my trip to Oxford for a trauma recovery conference — and later, to visit my therapist for the first time in person— some of my hardest memories resurfaced.
They hit me like bricks.
During an EMDR session (a science-backed therapy that helps your brain safely reprocess painful memories), everything faded to a quiet hum.
In an unexpected turn of events, I saw my adult self standing between my abuser — and my 9-year-old self — saying, “You can leave now.”
In that moment, my adult self wrapped her arms around my child self. And my current family, my own girls- now around her age-surrounded her with a love she’d never known.
*This photo is my adult self holding an actual image of my 9-year-old self cropped from a photo with her and her then abuser, and her being a part of my now-family — a reminder that healing isn’t forgetting the past, but finally bringing your little you home.💛
My girls reached out, playing, telling her, “You’re part of us, now.”
Something sacred shifted.
It felt like a cosmic coming-of-age — the moment my development, once frozen by trauma, was finally given permission to breathe & grow again.
In that moment, years of being drawn to malignant, narcissistic older figures and constantly moving homes, shifting jobs, travelling far away to feel safe all made sense.
Something broke its hold over me, forever.
💛 Dear friend, if your inner child is still hurting —
I pray you’ll make time to meet them.
To hold them.
To tell them, “You’re safe now.”
Only then can you stop those cycles of pain keeping you trapped, to become the fullness of who God created you to be.