For about two weeks, I disappeared.
It seems silly, I know, to “go off the grid” from social media and email while on a book tour. What a waste – not to “capitalize” on its fanfare.
But on the day I left for Australia, I felt God whisper, “Put on the brakes.”
While I was going up on larger platforms, He was inviting me to close the gap between who I was on and off stage.
I discovered CS Lewis’ quote, “By doing what ‘one’s staton and its duties’ does not demand, one can make oneself less fit for the duties it does demand, and so commit some injustice.”
One cold Australian morning, as I lay in bed, immobilized by the pain of an acute flare of my spinal condition, I felt God hovering over me, gently inviting me to surrender anything He asked me to. Speaking. My career as a doctor. Even writing more books.
I felt Him ask- what if I disappeared from my routines of work, social media and the gym for a season? What if I unplugged during a time I ordinarily would have stepped up? Would it ruin me? I needed to know.
So I said yes.
In the quiet away from home, in that liminal space of fear and pain, I finally admitted that our self-regard is one of the greatest barriers to true communion with God.
Jesus understood that. He himself was under constant pressure, and seduced by fame and power. But He spent 40 days in the wilderness communing with God before His ministry. He spent a night in prayer before choosing his disciples. He withdrew to spend time in Gethsemane before His crucifixion.
He understood the need to deepen his intimacy with God on a regular basis, no matter what the world demanded of Him. Anything that even rivaled His time with God was torn down before it became an idol.
Perhaps that’s what He wants from us- to be able to, at the drop of a hat, even if it makes no sense, even if it comes at personal cost, to just come away with him. No questions asked.
As I did, He restored my mind, body and spirit. I lost nothing. But gained everything.
Obedience, when drunk pure, cures like medicine.
*Grateful for the unforgettable hospitality and warmth of @faith.org.au