When mishaps happen, we always ask WHY GOD, WHY?
I checked my heart. I walked with You. Why then does life continue to fall apart?
On the exact day 12 weeks post-spine surgery, a milestone for returning to pre-surgery activities, I was shocked to learn my left knee meniscus was torn during a physiotherapy session. And heartbroken to know- meniscuses can never heal on their own. The definitive treatment?
Surgery, crutches and brace for 6 weeks.
Another surgery?
I was devastated. Angry. Why God, why? I wasn’t trying to be a hero, it just happened.
Two surgeons strongly recommended surgery, especially since we had plans to relocate to Africa and I had originally abnormally shaped meniscuses which could be corrected.
I went into a panic. How would we cope? Would I still be able to go to the States for my book tour in February? How would I care for my kids? What about Missions?
But a gentle, wise mentor called me. “Talk me through.”
I confessed I felt I had no option other than surgery. Wouldn’t it be irresponsible not to fix it before the mission field?
But he asked me a path-changing question. “Are you living in faith or fear?”
Fear meant cancelling my book tour in USA. Fear meant opting for surgery immediately because of worries about the future.
But faith meant choosing to let the injury settle. Faith meant seeing how God might heal. Faith meant laying down our plans to relocate and asking God to set a new date, resurrect His plans for us with time for surgery, if that was His will.
Faith meant living one day at a time, holding the future loosely.
I’m learning, amidst deep pain, that I might never know why, but I can lean on God. I may never run or ride a bike again but I would trade all that for an intimacy with God like no other. Instead of asking why, I can declare truth. Instead of focusing on what I’ve lost, I can declare what I get to do.
I get to trust God in faith. This is my privilege.
The surgery I need most is a heart surgery, and I’m glad I have the Perfect Surgeon for that 💛❤️🩹❤️