Finished the race.

Have you ever felt like there were certain parts of your life which were out of balance?

You try so hard, but somehow, no fruit is borne, or for some reason, it feels like you’re squeezing water from a rock. Why is it that it doesn’t come naturally? Why is it that I try so hard and still fall so short? Why does it seem I have to cut corners to gain an edge in this part of my life?

I will never forget what happened that day a year and a half ago. It was a Sunday. I had some work to see to. Instead, I went to train. I needed a break, I argued with myself. After all, it is Sunday.

That was the Sunday I suffered a grade two tear of all my hamstring and adductor muscles in my left leg, as well as a stress fracture in my hip. It was a week before my first sprint-distance race, which consists of a 750m sea swim, a 20km bike ride and a 5km run after. I trained really hard. I justified it as being disciplined. So when I got injured, I really wrestled with God in my heart. How could you let this happen to me?

Between one extreme and the next, often lies a line which is fine to the human eye.

Today, was the race.

Being my first triathlon since my devastating injury, today’s race was extra special to me in many ways. More than just endurance and discipline, it also taught me about letting go, learning to rest and most of all, learning to trust in this invisible thing called God, and this intangible substance called Faith. I hardly trained for this race at all, since I wasn’t even sure if I could take time off from work to do it. But God showed me, how when I learnt to prioritize my loved ones, work and missions above the sport, instead of letting it control my life, He would multiply my sparse training in ways I could not imagine.

Through the guilt and pain of recovering from that old injury, I learnt so much about surrendering every part of my life to God, instead of compartmentalizing my life into boxes. God, I know you’re looking after this bit and this part. But I’m not so sure about this bit and this part- maybe I need to help you out by putting in a little more effort on my part.

Two years ago, I was just about asking everybody I knew around me for training tips and advice. How much should I train? What should I do for this? Is this method better? Methods and schemes, instead of God, became my instruction manual.

This year, however, things were vastly different. I learnt to let go, learnt to say, this isn’t half as important as the calling God has given me in this life, that is, to impact the people around me through love. So what if I can’t exercise much because I need to work an 80-hour work week for my patients? So what if I don’t strictly follow the rules to performing well in the sport? This year, I simply lived my life according to how God would have had me live it- that meant visiting Grandpa Zhou or working or spending time with my loved ones even though a part of me wanted to go train instead. 

I guess sometimes, we fail to realize, that by following God, we reap returns far greater than any instruction manual or idiot-proof guidebook could ever leave us with. Because well, little did I expect that when I obeyed God and went to Africa, Mozambique on a mission trip, the children’s home would be right next to the ocean, where I swam every other day. That, without me being conscious of it, became excellent ground for open sea training for triathlon; Little did I realize that when I worked hard in the hospital on my 30-hour shifts, I was building stamina; Little did I realize that when I put my loved ones above my solitary training, my time spent with them nourished my body in ways I could not imagine.

When we do things God’s way, we reap unexpected returns.

He knows best.

On the other hand, when we insist on doing things our way, things can very often backfire. For all my hard training 2 years ago, I remember when it came to race day, it poured. They cancelled the swim segment of the triathlon, and the roads were so slippery that many had bad crashes and falls. God showed me, that when we have to try so hard to the point of self-striving and being unable to let go, something truly is… wrong. And it very often isn’t worth it.

It’s amazing, because though I used to spend far more time in the past training, my body performs so much better now, now that I’ve learnt to let go and let God, even in spite of the tough working hours. I just can’t explain it.

“How do you do it?”

” I don’t, God does.”

I finally learnt, how when we surrender and trust God with our lives, instead of constantly guarding our turf with what we think is best, He will truly honour us in return, and pour out an abundance of unexpected blessings.

So I swam, rode and ran today under the beautiful expanse of a cloudy sky, guiltlessly and joyfully.

The weather was perfect- the waves were calm and the skies were merciful. I was shocked at my timing when I got out of the water and leapt onto my bike. The run was hard, but was made so much better by a simple energy gel that I found the night before, the only one that I had left from 2 years ago.

The race which I feared I would never complete, was finally finished. I finished it, and finished strong.

If there is any part of your life which needs redemption and completion, be sure to know today, that God is working things out in your life, and He will bring it to completion.

Thank God, for a truly beautiful and memorable race.

 

 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well.”

-Matthew 6:33

 I have fought the good fight,

I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

-2 Tim 4:7