Not my Battle.

* Wai Jia has been busy with preparations for the upcoming book, called A Taste of Rainbow. There have been meetings to attend, proposals and letters to write and filming to do… all on top of a final year medical curriculum. But she is thankful for the many angels who have come along her path to help.

At church today, I was reminded that when our dreams seem attainable and we do attain them, it is called human endeavour. But a seemingly unattainable dream, an impossible idea and a daunting task invites God to take control and to move for us.

When I started out, I thought recovery was unattainable, much less material to write about in a picture book; when I thought of using it to raise awareness of and reach out to people suffering, in partnership with a national hospital, I thought it would be… impossible, ludicrous, stupid; and when I conceived the idea of making an artistic video and setting up a website, I was incredibly daunted by the overwhelming task. I’m in final year of medical school, doing this now is crazy, I thought.

I was afraid, and dismayed.

So I prayed.

But I suppose, God didn’t think so. And so sent my publisher along who happily supported every endeavour, sent a generous sponsor who is putting in what is likely to be a five-figure sum, sent a group of passionate individuals who have been so enthusiastic and helpful in the artistic conception of the video I had in mind, sent a complete stranger who’s a professional, who bought me tea and said, “Before I met you, God had already spoken to me. So I’m going to do this for free, not for you, but for God. I want you to know it’s not me, but God who is helping you, and I’m just glad to be a part of this.”

And I suppose He has the best timing, for isn’t it strange and funny how I’m back at the same department where I was treated for my medical attachment- this time, not as a patient, but as a medical professional, a partner with the department who has shown excitement, support and enthusiasm for this project.

“Aren’t you excited?” said Dr. Y that day after morning ward rounds.

“Yeah, sort of,” I said. “Heh, I guess so.”

And then we laughed. A few years ago, I was arguing with her at her clinic because I refused to take her medicine. Now, we were working together for the same dream, to help people learn about this illness, to help youth fortify themselves against this sort of tragedy.

I suppose, there isn’t such a thing as having too big a dream, or too small a faith. There isn’t such a thing as too outrageous a prayer. Is there something in your life too big for you to overcome on your own? Is there a battle too big for you to fight? Indeed, our shoulders alone were meant to bear smaller things, lighter loads.

We fool ourselves when we think our battles are ours alone to fight.

This dream was too big, the battle too large, my faith was too small, too broken, but I suppose, that’s where God likes to come charging in and take over.