Picking Rainbow Up.

I guess when you start drawing a circle from a point, it’s only right that it comes to completion. Is that why they say rainbows really are full circles, and not half-arches?

Sitting there at the same spot at the foot of my bed, where at one point, I had spent endless hours crying and praying and questioning God during that dark period, I suddenly took in the reality of what had happened.

I could hardly believe it, but it has been not two, but almost three years since A Taste of Rainbow was written, almost five years since I started to be very ill. For three years, nothing happened in spite of prayer, knocking on God’s door and crying my eyes out asking Him why. Why I wasn’t healed, why the book wasn’t published, why God would treat me like such a puppet (or so I thought) and look at me with a frowning smile.

The worst part was, when others and I hardly believed it would come to pass, only the memory of a real rainbow arc I saw in the sky after I had finished the first draft of the book gave me hope. A rainbow in the sky, how foolish. A coincidence, that was all there was to hold on to in the face of a dream which seemed so bleak.

I remember, just the sight of that stack of paintings, and the unanswered prayer of whether I would be healed, whether anything good would come out of this experience, whether A Taste of Rainbow would be published, hurt.

Three years in medical school later, one triathlon, one thrown-away weighing scale, hundreds of church sermons and many meals taken heartily with good friends later, the day finally came when I handed my publisher all the paintings for the book. This week, I met my publisher for lunch at a lovely social enterprise called Professor Brawn which hires people from underprivileged socio-economic backgrounds and which supports the newly opened Pathlight School, a school for children with autism.

God has His perfect timing. Because that has been just the amount of time I needed to fully heal and recover. All the time which passed, was essential for me to release control of my life. At a talk by medical missionary Dr Tan Lai Yong last night, he said that the most important quality a missionary must have is the ability to lose control. Perhaps, it is perfect that I got injured, that I can learn to be secure with unexpected circumstance, with who I am, even without training or exercise.

My publisher told me, “It was good to pick Rainbow up again.”

Suddenly, I realised, that after 3 years of praying over that stack of paintings, they’re gone. Handed over.

Yes, indeed. It was good to pick up where we left off.

* A Taste of Rainbow will be published sometime later this year. It is a picture book about courage, hope and faith, written and illustrated to raise funds and awareness for people who are hurting in silence. Because it is fully sponsored and supported by Singapore General Hospital, Khoo Teck Phuat Foundation, Singhealth and Landmark Books, all the funds raised will go straight to the beneficiaries. This is a non-profit project. We can make the world a braver, kinder and more joyful place.