Bounce Back Stronger.

Hero of Resilience? Me? The question resounded in my head, bouncing off the walls in my mind like peals of laughter.

There was the famous talkshow host, Daryl David.  There was Chew Chor Meng, the well-liked local comedian and television actor who was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy (a debilitating disease) a few years ago. There was Bryan Wong, voted the Top 5 most popular TV talkshow host on Channel 8, but who had gone through many ups  and downs in his career to success. There was Ms K, a caregiver of her mother with dementia; Catherine Sng, another local actress who had just been diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer, and two other speakers.

On Sunday, at the “Life Lessons of Resilience” Positive Mental Health Seminar at Suntec City Ballroom, I was one of them. Sitting on stage in front of a crowd of 500 people was a humbling experience, but what touched and humbled me more, were the stories each of the speakers had to tell.

They each had life going for them. Chew Chor Meng and Bryan Wong were both riding high on their careers, Ms K was enjoying time with her family, Mr. R was earning a beefy income at work. Like me when I first published Kitesong, they each seemed to have life going for them when tragedy hit.

Muscular dystrophy. A father’s death . A mother’s gradual decline into a mental disease. Cancer. A job switch. Family issues.

Two days ago, was the launch of the youth campaign called “Bounce Back Stronger” by Health Promotion Board. On top of launching an online Resilience health portal, the event featured youth from different walks of life who had battled through life struggles.

There was Jonathan, the twenty-year old who had lost his mother to cancer, the same time his best friend committed suicide and who resorted to smoking to cope; and there was Adam, a teen who lost an arm in a road traffic accident and had his other arm paralysed. Jonathan remembered the strength of his mum, quit smoking and picked up a new hobby to pursue; Adam started to train and is now an advocate of disability sports. And there was special speaker Glenn Lim, who was involved in drug trafficking after mixing with the wrong crowd and was nearly sentenced to life imprisonment when he got a new lease of life and started to do motivational speaking instead. He was awarded the Young Oustanding Person of the World award for his achievements.

What struck me the most from the two events, was that each of us had life stories that weren’t necessarily earth-shaking, but were stories nonetheless that struck a chord with the audience. That was what we were invited up for: to share our life stories of resilience.

Illness. Loss. Financial struggles. Grief. These aren’t unusual events to us, pilgrims on a similar road.

It was then that it struck me: We are all heroes of resilience in our own rights. We have all overcome.

Learning to be positive. Letting people into our lives to share our burdens with them. Being brave to get help. They are all seemingly common-sense actions to take, but are steps of courage, hope and faith nonetheless.

As I shared my journey and how vulnerable we all are, how we each have the power to share our stories and transform the lives of others, I emphasized how we each need to be brave to take the first step to getting help for ourselves.  I shared, that we are all heroes of resilience, as long as we give ourselves the chance to. I shared, that our stories of resilience can impact not only our own lives, but the lives of many others.

It was during the Q&A session when my heart was beating fast that I felt prompted to share something, since so many of the speakers and audience even were saying how “depressed” and “anguished” they each felt when they heard the doctor give them a particular diagnosis or a set timeframe to live by.

You have 2 more years to live, they told Chew Chor Meng. You do not have a good chance of survival.

But look at him now, I said. And in spite of or rather perhaps, because I am from the medical field, I said, I believe in 2 “M”s. The first “M” I believe in is Medicine. I believe in seeking treatment, going for chemo, physiotherapy and being a good patient. But beyond that, I said, I believe in another “M” that stretches the first “M” even further. I believe in Miracles.

I knew I was taking a big risk saying that. It was a public health forum. There was media and folks from all walks of life. People would scoff at me. But I did, I said that hope, faith and courage often bring us further than we ever imagined. Having a positive attitude can stretch the boundaries of medicine further than we ever imagined. Don’t let the number be the final judgement.

As I saw my parents and Cliff sit on the front row, the 3 of them having scrambled from different places that afternoon just to be there in time to support me, I couldn’t help but say, “Actually, examples of resilience are all around us, as long as we choose to see them. It just struck me, even I don’t have to look far away: My boyfriend  had liver cancer when he was ten. The doctors honestly didn’t know how long he would live after that. After his transplant, he went on to do an Iron Man event, which comprises a 4km swim, a 180-km bike ride and a full marathon after that. He’s now 32. If that isn’t a miracle, I don’t know what is.”

The session was wrapped up with my sharing, which surprisingly received positive feedback instead of flak from the public, according to the organizers. After the media interviews, photo-taking and small talk, Cliff came over and gave me a hug.

There’re heroes all around us, as long as we choose to look.

Share and enjoy the video at: http://breathe.sg/bounce-back-stronger/heroes-of-resilience/

 

“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through God who loved us.”

– Romans 8:37