Once in a while, we look at someone else and wonder, “Don’t I deserve that, too?”
I’ve done that. 9 years ago, when a Presidential award nomination fell through my filtered inbox. 7 years ago, when I was turned down by a TEDx invitation after weeks of practice. 3 years ago when another TEDx event I was invited to speak at got cancelled due to COVID, and never got rescheduled.
I rationalized God was protecting me, that another TEDx opportunity would come up again. But it never did.
So when I silently shared with God I’d avail 2-21 Feb to speak in North America about Dream Brave, my hopes for speaking platforms flickered. After all, who’d ask me?
But as I prayed, God listened. I was invited to attend a conference in California- not as a speaker. But as He would have it, it fell within 2-21 Feb, giving me boldness to pray, “Would You plan the rest of my itinerary?”
Weeks later, nothing. Then suddenly, an old friend I’d met at Hopkins reached out to ask if I’d be their keynote speaker for Habibi International, a nonprofit serving Iraqi refugees.
The date? 3 Feb—the weekend right before the conference. The location? Just an hour away. 😭
I’m learning, that when it comes to pursuing what we want in life, the world tells us to “chase it,” and “dream big.”
But God often wants us to press pause, sit at His feet with open hands and bring us to the place where nothing but Him matters.
He’s more concerned about our direction than speed, more concerned about the posture of our hearts than our fickle grasping.
After I stepped off the stage, a lady exclaimed, “That was literally a TED talk!” I smiled, though a little wryly— because I want to keep trusting that if it’s God’s will, it’ll happen at the right time. And if not, that I needn’t confine myself to one definition of “success.”
You see, He doesn’t care how early we hit our self-made milestones. He cares about how our characters grow for impact.
If I could comfort my twenty year old self, I’d tell her, “Don’t pursue your dream. Surrender it, and let Him gift it back to you in His way and time.”
For when we truly let go, we can trust Him to plan THE itinerary of our lives.