When I first saw my MRI results, I sat there in shock.
Fear and relief washed over me at the same time.
Fear- because of the unknown. Relief- because things that had bewildered me in the past year started to make sense… my inability to hold a spoon for long, nagging pains in a particular pattern, increasing difficulty typing, the temporary relief I feel during exercise…
And while the definitive treatment option is surgery in my spine through an incision in the front of my neck, while I am grieved and aching all at the same time, I am also grateful for many things —
— for how my ex-neighbor @dranandavella reached out to me to get properly assessed when I was in denial
– for the ease at which we found a trusted neurosurgeon
– for a firm diagnosis with clear treatment options
– for the privilege I have of being in Singapore at this time
– for being born in this era of technology
– for discovering it sooner than later, before irreversible damage
– for the chance I had to still stay active and complete a tri with Cliff before any of this unraveled
– for the timing that this unfolded, after I’d handed over my duties at work and my non-profit in preparation for the mission field
– for friends who continue to encourage us on our missions journey, and a very hopeful doctor eager to rehabilitate me for the mission field in future
– for a community of people who love us and continue to cheer us on.
And perhaps most of all, for the encouragement that Hebrews 12:11 has provided, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
I believe, that if we endure hardship as discipline (Hebrews 12:7), if we see all our sufferings as opportunities to embrace what God is refining and polishing in our lives, if we press on and fix our eyes on the true prize, we may come forth as gold.
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement for me, Cliff and our kids. By His grace, we will be okay.