Have you ever ‘blacklisted’ a mentor in your life because he/she disagreed with you?
If we’re all honest, I think we’ve all done so to some extent. 🥵After all, doesn’t it feel good to have 💯 supportive people in our inner circle?
What gave me a real breakthrough was realizing this- that ultimately, nearly all advice is given out of goodwill. Our responsibility then is to sift through advice to discern which is truly applicable in our lives, and which isn’t.
To date, I still keep in touch with mentors who gave me advice I disagreed with. Admittedly, sometimes, this is awkward and hard. If I’d taken their advice, I wouldn’t have written a book, we wouldn’t be heading to Africa with my family this weekend, and I definitely would never have married Cliff.
But ultimately, perhaps we all can agree that it’s not only healthy but necessary to have people with differing perspectives in our lives to sharpen us. Sometimes, hearing out people who disagree with us, even helps us clarify our values and confirm our direction.
Nonetheless, if you find a mentor who listens deeply, asks questions, who allows you to access their depth and breadth of experience to see your own reality with new lenses, thus leaving you in a clearer state of mind, then he/she is a keeper. There’s probably wise counsel to glean right there.
While I didn’t agree with this particular mentor about my giving a three-point sermon every time, I think taking in the parts where I should ensure my focus isn’t on my personal anecdotes but the Word itself was so valuable. I cherished that. Up to today, I’m grateful for that mentor’s advice, for helping me keep my focus right. And I did eventually find using acronyms and 3-points helpful for some messages! 🤭
In short, to clarify, what we need to do is stop taking people’s advice wholesale, but rather, discern it wisely. We need to stop holding grudges against mentors with good intentions. Most of all, let’s be the ones who dole out wise, compassionate counsel (only after deeply listening) that will truly change lives for the better.💛