A lioness in me arose.
“Do you realize how dishonoring your headline is to me, my husband, and many fathers out there?”
My lips trembled. The voice scoffed back, “We never change headlines. It’s too late.”
I stared at it- “My husband is on an emotional roller coaster. So am I as a breadwinner mum.”
What was this? A far cry from what it was supposed to be- “I may be the breadwinner but my husband is the hero.”
For a Fathers’ Day feature, I was invited to write of the unspoken experiences of a stay-at-home-dad (SAHD) from the perspective of a working wife.
“Can you make this more personal and share yr struggles?”
I obliged. The piece took a turn, capturing years of unarticulated challenges into words. “Yes, this is perfect- elaborate more here.”
But the headline punched me in the face.
“When you invited me to write, was your intention to bring honor or shame to the sacrifices of SAHDs? Leave the headline then- but will you be ready to deal with the fallout when readers themselves sense the injustice done?”
I sank onto the kitchen floor, swallowing hard. What had I done?
Minutes later, the headline was changed.
God fought for us- Genesis 50:20 came to mind, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Since then, even as I reeled from that traumatic incident years later, the piece opened doors for Cliff to be interviewed on various platforms, including the front page of The Straits Times (photo attached), drawing attention to the rising number of SAHDs trying to make sense of their season- surprising us that in Singapore alone, there are 1500 of them.
Today is special- it marks Cliff’s inaugural gathering of SAHDs in Singapore, a huge milestone of courage. Called “The Ordinary Dad,” its vision is to encourage and empower dads who’re primary caregivers to their children to be better husbands, fathers and leaders.
I’m proud of you, Cliff. Thank you for turning your pain into purpose, hope and courage for others, for redefining masculinity in the age to come. Truly, you’re our hero. We love and honor you.
*if you know a SAHD who needs support, drop @cliff.tam a note 💛