It caught me by surprise.
When the conference organizers sent this photo to me, I felt a strange sensation. I was an alien, peering in. Who was that?
Just days ago, I’d spoken about faith. I’d spoken about the need to press into deeper intimacy with the Holy Spirit, to dig in and dig deep. To be unrelentless in our pursuit of a deeper relationship with God- because all my life, it’s been these burning-bush, take-your-shoes-off-the-ground, leave-everything-and-follow-Me moments of irrationality that have changed my life. Changed my life to change the lives of others.
So much is at stake- do we see it?
In that photo, I saw someone heaving under the weight of God’s burden, born to bear His burden for dreams come to pass.
And yet, in this season, my faith wears thin. After the fanfare on stage ends, I return in my tank top and shorts to my usual prata shop, fighting with unbelief over my hot teh (tea).
Kitedreams and Kitesong Global are begging to expand, while I hold back, polite and logical-
“We don’t have funds.”
“We haven’t found the right person for this.”
My teammate, T, with more faith than I, reminds me that I hired her with no funds on hand.
Perhaps it was all intentional, all part of God’s plan, that the sponsor pulled out – I only had faith to advertise when he pitched in and it was too late to withdraw when he disappeared.
God wanted me to see- that no matter what man does, He stays faithful, as long as we are faithful to Him.
Today, what are you holding back? If you, like me, have a thousand reasons not to take the next step of faith forward, have been traumatized by the sleepless nights wondering about resources and what’s next – would you close your eyes and remember what it was like to heave under the burden of His heart?
The question is- if you hold back, what is at stake?