It was a classic shame cyclone.
After an interview with AnotherSole, a well-known shoe brand, I looked back at a memorable day-
The team wanted to interview me on what I did, who I was. Their shoes helped me thrive in Africa during my WHO/UNICEF stint. I wasn’t paid to do it- but I agreed because it sat well with my values of using stories to inspire change.
What I wasn’t expecting was the shame storm afterwards. Alone at home, the voices began, “This is a great brand that features leggy models and celebrity influencers. You’re none of the above. Who do you think you are?”
When I looked at the photos Cliff took of me behind-the-scenes, my face felt hot, my body limp. Why did I do that?
At once, I became that anorexic young adult I was before- I am fat. I am ugly. I am an idiot.
At the sofa, I opened a tin of shrimp rolls and started comfort-eating. Thankfully, on the same sofa was my current read- Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection.”
It’s about cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to exercise self-compassion and to nurture the sense that we are enough.
I asked myself- “What is my discomfort telling me? How can I be braver?“
I realized- my imperfections (an obviously un-skinny, un-modellish, mum’s physique) told an unintentional story- that we are more than how we look. We are what our hearts carry. We are the stories we tell.
So if a brand wants to amplify its mission of doing good by telling more stories of changing communities, and invite me to share my vulnerability, then my authenticity invites me to say “I’m in,” not run away.
While shame says “Your are not enough,” Authenticity says “if others critique me, that’s OK. My goal is not to be liked. It’s to be true to my values. I’m worthy of love and I will invite courage and self-compassion in my life.”
Like me, do you have a self-critical spirit? If so, how can you reframe your shame narrative into something hopeful, and practice courageous, self-compassionate living?
Let’s journey together ❤️