Hearts, turned back.

I still remember the dilemma we had. It was easy at the beginning to make the decision. But as time went by and expectations grew, I was surprised to see how our priorities changed and how lines became blurred.

So it’s true, that people change when circumstances do.

But I’m glad we turned back. I’m glad we went back to hold onto what we believed was pure and steadfast and true, and take the risk to stick by the decision we had made. What were we afraid of after all? Embarassment, shame, awkwardness? Well, they were valid concerns I suppose. After all, the wedding dinner had such a posh atmosphere and what we had wanted might have stuck out like a sore thumb. We were so worried that he, like before on my birthday, might go on and on and on without respect for time or the rest of the programme. What would people think, what would people say? It’s our special day after all, let’s not take the risk and ruin everything- at least not in front of so many people.

We nearly went back on our word.

But I’m relieved we didn’t. We literally couldn’t. One day we thought we had decided to take the safer, more sensible route, but when we had to confront him, we couldn’t. God gripped our hearts and put a lightning stoke onto our feet to stop us in our tracks. Shame stung my face like acid. It might have not have seemed like much, but for some reason, the struggle was massive within me.

We were glad we did.

So we listened to what our hearts were calling out to us, and let Grandpa Zhou, in his paper-thin shirt and baggy, worn-out pants, perform on our wedding dinner. He had a little cold that day and nearly declined to sing. But he did, and while it was nothing like what people might have expected- an angel-like performance or some american-idol standard singing, while it might have been a little off-tune and a little off-beat, while it might have been perhaps a little off-centre to what people might have expected for a wedding dinner (which really was just a cosy gathering of forty friends), it was beautiful to us. Looking back, he was central to our union, to how we got together, and it was an honour to have him perform.

It made me reflect, on the reason we have from distancing ourselves from the poor. No, we shall never openly dare to admit our distaste for their smell or choice of clothes; we shall never commit to confessing our disdain for their lifestyles and choices; we shall never outrightly state our subtle preference for things and people which are easier to love. But when faced with a choice to either honour them at a cost of our reputation or choose what might seem more presentable, more seemly, what might put us in a better light in the eyes of others, we may no longer hold our moral ground with such steadfast certainty or altruistic nobility.

I know I didn’t. I was concerned what people might think. I thought it was absolutely incongruous with the atmosphere and occasion, which might have better called for jazz music or bossa nova. But I forgot, that just like with true love, and the love God has for us, loving the poor comes at a risk, big or small. And when we choose to accept that cost and take that risk to go out of our comfort zones, we then see that truly, we are the recipients of blessing. When God chose to love us, He chose to do so by humbling Himself, forsaking all the riches and status that He rightfully enjoyed. That night, the hearts of those who watched our video and heard Grandpa Zhou sing, resonated with the love that was found in that room.

Today, on the damp, dirty steps of the train station, Grandpa Zhou said to me in mandarin, “Wow, I was so honoured to shake hands with your parents. I was so touched they came to shake my hands and invite me to have dinner. I was so glad I could sing that day. I was so happy. By the way, your husband saw me last week on these steps and invited me to have dinner at your new house. Thank you.”

 

And thank you Grandpa Zhou, for singing for us.

 

And thank you God, for turning our hearts back, to our first love. It was awesome.

 

 photos by lettherebelight.asia

“You know how full of love and kindness our Lord Jesus Christ was.

Though he was very rich, yet for your sakes he became poor,

so that by his poverty he could make you rich. ”

-2 Cor 8:9