Friends.

When I shut my eyes in my quiet room and hug my shoulders, no longer bony with starvation and grief, but warm with fuzziness, I think about the many people God has blessed me with on this long journey, and find my tears streaming, streaming down my cheeks.

Have you ever felt undeserving of such magnaminous, forgiving, unconditional love, and awed by the grace poured out by God unto your life? Most nights before I lay in bed, when I’m on the floor on my knees, I think about the many friends who were with me from the beginning, how many of you are still with me, now. You, you, you, you and you. And you, and you and you, too. Not once did I find myself cast away, cast down because of a single disdainful look you might have chosen to give me. You respected, respect me, still. With the dignity I want to give to others, too.

Some nights, I think about the words my friends said to me, the little things and gifts you did for me and gave to me, without asking for anything in return, the prayer you showered upon me, and those fingers of yours always pointing to the Compass around my neck, telling me which way points Home, whenever I find myself lost, again. You, you, you, you and you.

Friends- I’ve been blessed with the kind who can stand through a rainstorm with me without a poncho, who can sit with me in silence with a book on a lazy afternoon, who can tell me the truth unflinchingly and lovingly if it’ll help me be a better person.

It’s always the little things that mean the most. Like random gifts, breakfast, a silly text message. Like a hug, a gentle admonishment, the plain truth. Like company, a patient word of encouragement, a banana, haha. A spontaneous invitation, a knowing look, a helpful piece of knowledge. A bible verse, a prayer, or sitting with me at church. Or simply, just being there, listening, just, looking out for me, like a Mama bear on the lookout.

Friends.

The kind of friendships we share define the kind of persons we become. And if it’s true that they say you become who your closest five friends are, then, I often joke, I ought to be very proud of who I am indeed. Because of what you’ve done for me, how you live your life, who you are to me- God is so big in your lives I could never miss Him.

Whenever I doubt or falter, I look at you and see Him right there.

And you made me realise, that all this time, I’ve been running in circles, but He’s never really moved from the point my eyes left Him.

All at once, I was brought to my knees, bleeding, but I found you right here with me. We were soldiers in arms, our hearts glowing on our sleeves, and our feet burning, burning, burning on the road. It is burning below and pouring from above, and we march together in a team, in perfect rhythm to the onslaught of the storm- you never even mind that I’m dragging you down a bit because the sand’s got into my wound, it’s hurting excruciatingly and I want to give up on this journey. With your arm locked in mine, you look up at the sky, up at Home, and we find new strength together.

Pilgrims in progress, we were. We still are. And I can rejoice that we have been Called aside, because you all are with me, too. Together we are clothed with strength and dignity, and we can laugh at the days to come. Together, because laughing is fun when we laugh together at our bleeding wounds and the delicious rain. Laughing is fun when we look up above, up at Home, and become giddy with joy at the hope we have for us. We are drunk on the rain that rains from Home.

And this journey is made all the more bearable, memorable and beautiful because of your bloodstained hands wrapped in mine, our heads giddy with happiness under the pelting rain, and our knees sore with kneeling on this long brick road.

Thank you for walking with me on this journey. For clothing me when I was naked, for pointing me forward and upward, and turning my mourning into joy. For unveiling my eyes so I could see, that the days to come are joyful, pure and good.

Thank you for laughing, laughing with me in the pouring rain.

Storge. Philia. Agape.

Friends. Thank God for them.

” She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

-Proverbs 31:25

*This post in dedicated to my many friends who’ve made a profound difference in my life, and are still making now.

Thank you for showing me what Love truly is.

Storge. Philia. Agape.