Someone wrote to me recently,
“Sorry to disturb you while you’re on vacation.”
That word — vacation — lingered.
A little voice in me became defensive— Who said I was on vacation?
Why does not being in Tanzania automatically mean I’m disengaged, or “off”?
The truth is, I’ve been quieter because this season has been full —
learning, writing, dreaming, filming, getting recertified, taking courses, planning, creating.
The kind of work that doesn’t always look like work — but very much is.
What surprised me most wasn’t the assumption.
It was how much it bothered me , because I know I haven’t been actively sharing what I’ve been up to.
And in that discomfort, God gently showed me something—
how tightly I still tie my worth to productivity — to being “useful,” to being SEEN as working.
As I looked around me, ground and branches blanketed in white, I’m reminded how my mother-in-law told me how she plants her tulip bulbs out in the wintry cold because it is a necessary process for them to bloom in spring, even if they are hidden from sight.
I am learning—
Not every dream needs to be announced.
Not every work needs to be shared.
Not every action needs to be explained for fear of other people misunderstanding.
Seeds grow best in the dark of the soil before they’re exposed to the world.
They do their work of growth deep within them, even when no one’s looking.
And sometimes, that unseen season in the cold is exactly what it needs to catalyze the right kind of growth later on.
Yet I’m also grateful.
Because in this season, the lines between work and play have blurred — not out of hustle, but out of love.
I’m doing what I care deeply about, even if no one else sees it now, even if I only get to see its fruit later on.
Someone else asked me recently,
“So what does what you’re doing now have to do with your role in Tanzania?”
And I was glad I could answer with peace:
My work isn’t geographical.
My identity isn’t split into regions or roles.
God is weaving one story — and all of these experiences shape what I give back to the world.
So I’m learning to release the need to explain.
To keep working.
To keep playing.
And to trust that God knows how it all fits together — wherever I am.
I hope this encourages you to keep letting Him and your dreams flow through you, and release the need to keep explaining to those whom you don’t owe the explanation to.
This year, we’re prayerfully considering an endeavor — to hold a gathering and speak at a school in Singapore. We don’t yet have flights or accommodation sorted, but we’re choosing to trust that as we take steps forward, God will take care of the provision- where we will stay, how we’ll be sustained and who we will speak to— even when we don’t yet know how. We’re learning that spending the summer and winter months away from Tanzania in other parts of the world is healthy, and not to be ashamed of.
Thank you for journeying with us. 💛
It means a lot.
