As house hunting continues, I think I have to admit I’ve hit a wall.
So many “wild goose chases” amidst cross cultural miscommunications, political tensions, and transitions… it’s made me often ask God why it’s been so hard, why it’s taking so long.
While we’ve been really grateful for how God has provided shelters for us, my heart hurts and aches for a place I can build a home, hang up some family photos and finally stop taking clothes out of suitcases.
My heart breaks whenever I’m taken during a home viewing to an absolutely dilapidated, unloved home.
Two things can be true I suppose-
- we know our purpose here and yet also, ache with longing
- we are grateful for the privilege we have to look for a house, and yet also, yearn for stability
- we are disappointed with God, and yet also, touched by His care for us in tangible ways
- we are so blessed to be able to travel out for breaks (living here takes it toll quickly) and yet also love living here to serve.
On other days, mentoring students, sharing at church or teaching at a school feel like really deep privileges that keep us going.
And on some days like today, when you feel like you’ve been tricked and misled, mocked and laughed at, and absolutely let down or challenged by people who think we are nuts for still being here, I’m so thankful I can find a song like this to listen to.
To those of you in the mess like me…..
I hope you know—
This isn’t the end of the story.
This is just the hard,
in-between chapter.
You are not abandoned.
You are not forgotten.
You are tired — and tired is not the same as lost.
We can rest and rise again.