“OH CRAP!”
I looked down and panicked. This was all wrong.
But it was too late.
What on earth was I doing wearing a stunning BLACK gown, studded with snowy crystals to a wedding to give a speech at?
(In Asia, black is considered inauspicious and rude to wear on happy occasions.)
Then, I woke up.
What a nightmare.
But it didn’t end there.
The next night, I dreamt I’d won a voucher— eerily, for the exact same gown I’d worn in the dream the night before.
What a way to end the year.
Yet, it made sense. God gave me a picture of the year gone past—
— while I was once afraid I didn’t belong,
2025 has been a journey of God reclaiming and redeeming the very pains I was once dressed in, reassuring me that the very garment of sorrow I’d worn is exactly what gives my life beauty, authority and gravitas.
If you’d told me at the start of this year that this would be my life,
I’d have told you you were crazy.
• I moved 9 times, across 5 countries, in 6 months.
• We booked plane tickets and searched for shelters with no promise of provision — and God provided.
• I underwent trauma therapy — and somehow, became a stand-up comedian.
• I imagined a path beyond medicine — truer, and far more terrifying.
This photo captures a quiet but profound milestone in my healing.
A year where nothing looked stable —
and yet everything that mattered held.💛
Where winter was once associated with unspeakable grief, invisibility, and self-loathing for me, it has now become — like that black gown dusted with snow — the very season that marked my life with meaning.
Winter doesn’t pretend to be fruitful.
It doesn’t rush growth.
It taught me that rest is not failure,
and dormancy is not death.
So if your year didn’t look the way you imagined —
if it didn’t look radiant or impressive or “successful” —
my hope is this—
No matter how dark or cold your world has felt,
how exposed or vulnerable this season seems,
you would know that you are clothed with dignity —
warm, held,
and deeply loved 🌨️
by the One who has carried you through this year
and will love you into the seasons to come.
🤍❄️
