“Mama… can we move house, please?”
My heart broke as I looked into two eyes pooled with tears.
This was our 6th home in 6 months, across 4 continents.
We’d lived in far harder conditions in East Africa —
no running water, no power, crumbling walls, relentless noise.
And yet, my 6-year-old always found a way to say,
“I like our home, mummy.”
But here in the heart of wintry Canada, something unravelled.
We’d paid thousands for an Airbnb to visit Cliff’s elderly parents —
only to arrive to a garage piled with trash,
a house that reeked,
and finally, hidden behind the blinds,
a shattered window with −12°C wind blowing straight in.
This wasn’t the rest we were hoping for.
The cost of living here pinched — hard.
That night, I woke at 3am.
Somewhere along the way as a missionary doctor,
I’d learned to carry shame around money.
I’d believed needing more meant weak character.
That spending more meant indulgence.
That comfort required justification.
But this clarified everything.
As the image of that shattered window kept resurfacing, I felt God shatter my mindset too— to know that:
Money is a tool, not a test.
Spending isn’t a moral scorecard.
Faithfulness doesn’t always mean choosing the cheapest option —
sometimes, it means trusting He will provide even when it doesn’t make sense.
I thought of the scars I carried from hearing,
“I can’t — it’s too expensive to come see you.”
And I knew I never wanted to pass that wound on.
So we moved. Again. And found ourselves in a beautiful sanctuary.
In spite of the cost, it was worth it —
to fulfill our girls’ prayer to live close to their grandparents,
to gift them a season of safe roads, running water,
and the simple joy of making snowmen.
A shattered window is everyone’s nightmare.
But it became a window for me into this truth—
Spending isn’t moral failure.
Provision isn’t indulgence.
Presence is never wasteful.
And as God has often provided through the love of strangers,
I’m learning to trust that when we make the right choices,
He will finance them —
even when we falter.
💭 What are you learning to trust God for in dollars & cents that doesn’t make sense?