The worst advice I ever got?
“One day you’ll look back on what you’ve done and feel so embarrassed. So in all you do, have a little restraint.”
But that night… right before the show, Cliff hugged me and said, “Remember—EXPLODE on stage. Have lots of fun. Be a little unhinged for me.”
So I did.✨
I didn’t know how the jokes would land.
You laughed where I thought you wouldn’t.
You groaned where I least expected.
And somewhere between the gasps and the laughter—
I know, we healed, together.
In these photos, you’ll see my intensity, my rage, my ludicrity— all with a hint of wild, holy fun.
When I look back, I want to tell my daughters—
“I gave it my all. I showed up without waiting to be perfect. And whatever the outcome, I’m proud of that version of me too.”
For the first time in my life, I walked off stage not looking for a stamp of approval.
I wasn’t scanning faces for validation.
I wasn’t checking my phone post-event, searching for that special someone’s note of affirmation.
My heart didn’t palpitate with fear—waiting for who might call me into an office to “have a chat” with me on what they thought was acceptable or not.
For once, I wasn’t carrying the weight of any organization, or establishment, or invisible measuring stick.
I was fully me—quirks and all.
For the first time, I knew— this was good enough.
I was enough.
A week ago, my therapist told me—
“I’m not going to wish you luck, because you don’t need it. Instead, I’m going to ask you to have fun, to lean in, and to collect a truckload of memories.”
You gave me all that & more.🥹😭
So if anyone ever tells you not to try so hard because you’ll “look back and cringe”—
I hope you lean in anyway.
I hope you go all out.
Because only when you give your all…
… can you become your best self— the version you’ll always be proud to look back at and tell your children—
“I’m proud of that person…
… the one who wasn’t afraid to fail, who didn’t silence herself for the sake of people who ought never to have mattered, who became who I am today.”