My ribs heaved like a metal cage, my heart galloping a thousand hooves. Sweat poured in the middle of the night- what was happening?
Many years ago, when I first married Cliff, his unexpected liver crisis right around when we got engaged continued to haunt me.
I’d awake with panic attacks, wondering when I’d lose him.
I eventually overcame this through a miraculous revelation, but recently, when countless challenges in organizing this calligraphy exhibition cropped up while I was overseas for 6 weeks, I began experiencing the same palpitations minutes before going to bed.
What if sponsorship doesn’t come through?
What if it turns out really awful?
What if my team resents me for being away?
It was a friend who taught me the powerful weapon of “so what?”
So what if sponsorship doesn’t come through? I would use my own savings, which is God’s money anyway, and trust He would provide for my family.
What if the exhibition is a disaster? My name is on the line but hey, could this be a time to loosen my hold on my pride?
Over the years, as I grappled on and off with Cliff’s post-transplant liver condition, I began to learn to face my greatest debilitating fear of losing him by saying, “so what?”
If he dies and I’m widowed early, so what? In our early years of marriage, the mere thought of it sent tears streaming down my cheeks.
But as time passed, and I learnt to say “so what?” as I anchored myself in God’s love, I began to realize- you know what? God will look after me. I might even re-marry. What is the worst that could happen?
When we envision the worst, and still muster the courage to say “SO WHAT?” with a swag anchored not in pride but in our trust in God, anxiety has no choice but to dissipate.
This year, as you face your anxieties, would you replace your “what if?” with “so what?”
💛 I hope this blesses you. 💛
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”- Jer 17:7-8