IG highlights of NGL Q&A can be found here.
Q1. How do you manage all your commitments when there is so little time?
I once read somewhere that if we wake up, feeling like we should have accomplished what we need to yesterday, that we don’t have enough resources to do what God has called us to do, and feel breathlessly out of pace with life…
… then we are doing too much.
I learnt this the hard way.
When I became a mom, then a working mom, some things had to go.
I have messages that I cannot reply to.
I have speaking or social invites I turn down.
I have people annoyed with me for setting boundaries (no WhatsApp, email only)
I remind myself of
2 Peter 1:3: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
If we believe God has given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness, then can we trust we are not in lack?
And if we sense we are in lack, then perhaps it’s time to scale back? Time to trust more, maybe?
Today in the middle of my work day, I buried my head in my hands and cried. A staffing issue wasn’t working out. And I’d spent so much effort.
Then I felt God ask me, “if I’m given you this task, would you not trust me to help you through?”
It’s a constant calibration. To dare more greatly, and trust more deeply.
But in the words of a wise friend, “Even if all this stops Wai Jia and you take a nice long break, guess what? The world will keep on spinning.”
That helps me sleep well at night ❤️🌜🌝
Q2. Which country do you foresee yourself/your family next?
And I often find that question bizarre (I’m not offended though) because “going back” is not something I can decide on.
Just as how I didn’t “decide” on the country, I can’t just decide when or where I want to go.
But back to the question, I’d love to go back to Africa.
Uganda was hard and crushing. But it won my heart.
Eswatini was heartbreakingly difficult. But surprisingly refreshing.
Where next? Only God knows.
Till then, we wait 🥲
Q3. How do you guys make peace with being in a competitive place like Singapore? Everyone sends their children to tuition, enrichment classes etc 😢
This struggle is real!
The first time we landed in Singapore with a newborn and toddler, Cliff and I started to explore preschools.
As we entered a well-known ones in Singapore, what caught our eye in a kindergarten 2 classroom were not the words “Hungry Caterpillar” but “Hungry for Success.”
We ran out. Our three-year firstborn, as if understanding our sentiments, lost interest in the rest of the tour- the bilingual immersion programme, the hypoallergenic meals, the after school enrichment classes.
So yo answer your question, making peace with a choice that is against your culture requires a clarification of values.
When you clarify your values, you’re telling yourself and the world what you value and what you don’t.
Upholding what you value will always come at a cost. That cost could be ridicule, “losing out,” etc. But what you gain is greater peace, less anxiety, a deeper connection to your inner compass.
I think because I emerged from the Singapore system and came out “on top,” yet struggled with poor self esteem, self harm, eating disorders, depression, and ended up actually pursuing an aspect of public health quite far away from surgery (which is what everyone in my family wanted for me), I see academia as just one part of success in our lives.
I guess at the end of the day, I ask myself- what do I want from and for my children?
I want progress, not perfection.
I want to see their life’s embodiment of practice and prayer, not performance.
Practically, how that looks like is we intentionally sent our children to a heartland kindergarten with faith-based values. We don’t make conversations with other parents based on enrichment classes. We ask our kids often what they want to do, and do it with them. Whatever we can’t provide, we pray together and ask God.
An example would be swimming. We don’t own a pool. We don’t even know how to go for swim classes. Then out of the blue, a friend asked if we’d like to join them. The instructor turned out to be from church. It all felt very natural.
This doesn’t mean we condemn attend tuition. I think it’s important at some point when a child needs help. But to impose it on them with the mindset of “keeping them occupied so I can work,” is very toxic and needs to be re-examined.
My two cents 😉
Q4. Did you intend your blog to become a ministry when you first started it? If not, what made you decide to start and keep it going? I long to write but I struggle with putting myself out there “for the world to see”. Thank you 🙂
Oh definitely, not.
It started as a private thing, I just wanted to write and share God’s goodness in my life.
To be honest, up to today, I don’t really know how many people read my blog. 🤷🏻♀️
I never imagined I’d meet blog readers on the street.
I sure never imagined my future husband would find me that way! (Gasp!)
But I do know that writing is always a vulnerability.
Who will read your writing? Who will validate you? Who will affirm you and hold space for you and not laugh at you?
I be honest with you- Singaporeans are not the most enthusiastic about leaving comments 😅 So over the years I found my joy in writing for myself, for God— and that helped me remain true to my heart, rather than writing to pander to what people want.
Our whole lives are a big vulnerability, a big chance.
What if someone mocks us?
But that’s the point. No matter what, we have to live it anyway. Because you only have one life.
So if there’s a story inside of you waiting to be told, testimonies waiting to be shared… don’t wait.
Set them free. And watch them change the world.
Q5. Not a question, but wanted to let you know that I was recently asked to name two people who’ve inspired me, and you were one of them 🙂
Wow, thank you.
This means a lot.
To know I’ve left the world a little bit better and touched someone’s life, brings tears to my eyes.
Thank you for this note, whoever you are!