IG highlights of NGL Q&A can be found here.
Q1. Does seeking help from therapy also mean depending less on God and the Church?
What a great question.
We’ve believed so many lies that if we seek help elsewhere, we are lesser Christians.
Less faithful, less faith-filled, somehow.
This is toxic, because it keeps people in bondage and shame.
We are made by God in mind, body and spirit.
God created medicine & therapeutic solutions to heal us. So why not?
I believe that healing can and should be multi-dimensional because we are multi-dimensional beings!
The danger is putting so much faith in or dependence on therapy/medicine alone that we lose our reliance on God.
So to answer your question: NO, seeking therapy does not mean you’re depending less on God and church.
Ultimately, it is a HEART issue.
PS: though I’d highly recommend seeking help only from Christian therapists esp. if it is a mental health related issue.
Q2. Did you have feelings of inadequacy and anxiety in med school? And if yes how did you overcome that!
Yes!
Haha, I experience inadequacy and anxiety in many spheres of my life, not just in medical school 😅
I remind myself that the insufficiency/anxiety comes from comparison.
So, I ask myself- why am I comparing myself to them?
Now that I’ve graduated for 11 years, I’d tell my younger self:
If only you knew where God would take you and how He would use you 10 years from now, you wouldn’t care half as much about how you fared compared to others because your trajectory is so unique.
Just keep trusting God, keep your eyes focused on your own lane,
and quit comparing.
Whatever is causing you misery, kill it.
So if social media is creating anxiety, limit your time on it. Unfollow people.
If studying with certain people or in certain places is triggering you, change it up.
Most of all, know He loves you the way you are. Success is not linear. Success is not certain.
But God’s love is.
Q3. Who is your church community? I ask because I’m not in a cell group and I feel inspired by what you previously shared.. yet I don’t feel l have a community in church. I do feel unsupported at times.
Wow, I’m gonna be super honest here.
Connecting with people is risky, time-consuming and often painful. If you’re unwilling to put yourself in a vulnerable space, be willing to get hurt, overlook offenses… it’s better not to venture there at all.
But if you, like me, know you need community, then yes, by God’s grace, thankfully, it can be built.
But it takes INTENTION, INVESTMENT & INTUITION.
INTENTION-
1. Pray. Ask God to lead you to the right community.
2. Be intentional about making friends. Write in to pastors. Explore getting involved in some ministry. Mill around after service.
3. Be proactive- visit a few cell groups. Keep an open mind.
INVESTMENT-
1. Know that building a community will take time & effort. It won’t happen overnight but don’t be discouraged.
2. You might find yourself blessing others more initially, but know that those who refresh others will too be refreshed.
3. See it as a way of giving to the church. If you go in with a “how come I didn’t get what I expected” mentality, you’ll find yourself with the short end of the stick from the start.
INTUITION-
1. Don’t set yourself on fire by going crazy visiting a dozen cell groups. Know yourself. Are you quiet and reserved or extroverted and chatty? Would getting to know people through an activity you enjoy (say serving in the choir or ushering) be more comfortable for you? Knowing what you’re comfortable with ensures you don’t burn out.
2. Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment for the right kind of company.
3. Start small, don’t get your hands burnt too fast too soon by going all-out vulnerable with every new person you meet.
Q4. I grew up in church. Many things happened that left me deeply hurt, angry, disappointed and disillusioned. I no longer believe and I am admitting this to you because I can’t tell those around me (90% Christians). I guess this is like coming out in a sense, and I wanted somebody to know.
Thank you for coming out. Confession is the first step to freedom.
This was my own “coming out” piece. You’re not alone: https://saltandlight.sg/faith/what-nearly-leaving-church-taught-me/
The fact that you sent this to me tells me that deep down, you want to believe.
Guess what? God still cares. He still loves you.
You might quit. But friend, He never quits on you. ❤️
Q5. I’ve been keeping my depression and eating disorder to myself. Should i tell someone?
Yes, taking the first step to share your struggle with someone (whatever it might be) is the first step to freedom.
It feels risky, vulnerable and scary, but it’s also very
COURAGEOUS.
My advice?
Choose someone you know who will hold space for you
non-judgementally and will encourage you in your journey towards victory.
I already feel proud of you for asking this!
Go, you!