IG highlights of NGL Q&A can be found here.
Q1. 30(M), interested in a girl in church. Should I approach her and make my intentions known first, or should I ask her leaders/ mentors for their advice/ permission first?
YAY! You so brave!
I think either way is fine. There’s no rule book to this.
What I want to commend is:
1. Your courage to make the first move. I think that’s admirable, courageous and pleasing in God’s sight.
2. Your thoughtfulness to consult her leaders because you acknowledge their authority over her life.
Whichever way you choose, pray and seek the Lord. I know He will guide you!
I’m so thrilled for you!
Whether or not it works out, I know you’re a brave man after God’s heart. Well done!
Q2. What inspires you to be vulnerable and open to sharing on social media?
Wow, this is such a great question.
It’s you guys.
It’s people like you who write to me and tell me that they’re so relieved to have found someone to put into words what they’ve been struggling to say, to have found a bit of light while struggling all alone.
Unreservedly, it’s you.
(Once in a while, I get a bit of flak and hate mail, but I try to process and shake it off.)
Q3. How do you involve your children in doing God’s work / volunteering, & from what age did you start! (asking as a mum of 2 toddlers as well!)
Love this question!
I think the best way of involving our children is to serve ourselves.
Children have a natural, fierce curiosity, and it becomes effortless to impart values when they see it in us.
Since I started preaching, they’ve begun to mimic me at home.
Whenever we give out fruits to cleaners, migrant workers etc, they follow us and have begun to ask, “How can I help, Mama?”
So…
My honest answer is-
As you live out what you preach, they will be involved naturally.
Choose what comes naturally to and sparks joy in you, because that delight is infectious when it’s genuine.
I truly believe that because of your heart in asking this question, that seed of compassion and love has already been sown in their hearts!
What a blessing for them to have a mummy like you!
Q4. There is a non believer who has been hinting interest and otherwise still a friend. He likely knows that I won’t go out with him hehh do i ignore him until he stops hinting? would inviting him to church give him false hope?
It’s so clear that you desire to love and obey God, and to put Him first!
Well done, sister!
Haha, no la- don’t ignore him- poor guy. He might not get the hint and end up heartbroken. 💔
I think it’s OK to maintain the friendship, and when conversation topics like values, faith or future goals come up, you can share your stand gently and honestly.
Eventually, he will put the pieces together.
That’s how I would do it, la.
Haha, I had that experience before. My triathlete training friend asked me out for a long 8km run “so we can get to know each other better”- by the end of it, he knew I was committed to missions.
Though heartbroken, we had a respectful, heartfelt conversation and remained friends.
As to inviting him to church, let it come naturally and be led by the Holy Spirit 😉🌊🕊 Don’t do it just to convert him to being “dateable”- I know you won’t! 💛
Q5. Hello Waijia, a friend wanted to introduce a guy who isn’t a Christian but who is open to Christianity. She thinks we have matching ideals. How should I think about this or approach this? Thank you! 🙂
Hi there!
From this question, I can see you have a deep desire to honor God with your friendships, and you’re exercising caution about your “inner circles,” especially when it comes to taking the next step in dating!
Good on you!
I’ll first say this- there’s nothing wrong with meeting new people and making friends. Go on and expand your circle!
But if I’m reading in between the lines correctly, your friend seems to be wanting to matchmake you.
I’d be really cautious of this, especially if the context of introduction is specifically as a dating setup.
The truth is-
“Matching ideals” might seem so on the surface. But this is like the iceberg effect. Both of you could love serving the poor and changing the world. But without Christ, someone else’s motivations and values for the same action will likely be vastly different.
If I hear your heart correctly in your desire to put God first, then I agree with extra caution.
If someone is open to Christianity, great. But I’d keep it at the “friends” level until things change.
There’s really no right or wrong answer.
For me, though, I’d probably say “no, thank you,” to this kind of a dating set-up.
Q6. How do you deal with imposter syndrome, from a Christian perspective?
Oh yeah, I know Impostor Syndrome!
Every time I’m up on stage or interviewed as an expert, I go, “Wha-? Me?”
One of the best ways I’ve learnt through coping with it is actually quite counter-intuitive.
Instead of telling myself how good I am, I just go straight to the chase and tell myself, “Hey, you’re not qualified for this.”
This happens every time I prep to go and share a message and someone tells me I’m not qualified because I’m female or too young or I don’t have proper theological training (I do have a Masters in Theology but even then, there’s so much I don’t know!)
But God has been so good to give me this revelation when I preached recently on “Two copper coins.”
He doesn’t need us to be experts. He’s not looking for qualified people. He’s looking for obedient people who make themselves available to be used by Him.
Feeling broken, weak and inadequate? That’s who He wants to use.
Think of Moses- he definitely wasn’t the charismatic leader sort. He stuttered! Couldn’t even speak well, didn’t know how to delegate- gosh!
Yet God picked him for a sacred task.
So, if the enemy is mucking around with your thoughts and telling you how lousy you are, just go right back and declare, “I don’t need to be somebody in God’s kingdom. I just need to be who God made me to be. God loves the weak and the broken!
He doesn’t necessarily call the qualified, but He certainly qualifies the called!
Here’re some of my favorite verses when I’m feeling particularly “imposterish”-
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
– Eph 2:10
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.- Eph 1:4
Man, this is mindblowing! He chose us BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD?! And He already prepared the good works for us to do?
Wow, what a relief! That He already knows the end from the beginning and I have the easy job of just walking into His will! Phew! That kills my “I cannot do this cos I’m not good enough” complex immediately.
Another two of my favorite verses-
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Cor 12:9
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:26
Q7. How do you start writing? I’m told by many people that I have the gift of writing, but when I look at the blank screen, I’m not sure what to write.
Write, anyway.
If writing is a gift you feel God has called you to steward, or if you have dreams of writing a book….
… Carve a little time every day and prioritize writing.
Whether it’s about how God is speaking to you, or a creative piece, don’t wait till you have “inspiration” before you write.
Write because it’s a gift you’ve been called to steward.
Write because it’s a discipline to inculcate.
Write because it’s an expression of faithfulness.
If you don’t know what to write, start with prayer.
That’s how I approach my writing.
Let God guide you!
I hope this helps!