IG highlights of NGL Q&A can be found here.
Q1. What made you wanna do F45
I’m going to take the chance to share an answer to a question I’ve been getting a lot- which is what to do when you feel unmotivated?
My morning workouts were beginning to stagnate and I noticed I was dreading them, or not feeling 100%.
I really believe if something is not serving you anymore- be it a job, community, season of life- that it’s important to ask yourself some key questions:
1. Does this bring joy to me?
2. If it doesn’t, what is it saying or telling me?
3. What are my values and does this align with them?
4. If not, what must I do to change things? What options do I have?
I really believe these questions are key to helping us get out of the rut.
From a “I am stuck” mindset, these questions help us see that we do have choices.
When the pain of what you’re willing to give up or let go finally outweighs the pain or discomfort of change, it’s time to go, friend.
Q2. Are you a tiger mum? 🙂
Tiger parenting is a form of strict parenting, whereby parents are highly invested in ensuring their children’s success. Specifically, tiger parents push their children to attain high levels of academic achievement or success in high-status extracurricular activities such as music or sports.
Then, no…
Maybe because I grew up having extra curricular activities every day, I really want my children to have a FUN and relaxing childhood!
I love to see them chase the chickens below our block, make cars from cardboard boxes, and go fishing with them…
But I confess, I do pray often that our missional life would not shortchange them of fulfilling their dreams in life.
If they want to be doctors too as they often say they do, my prayer is that I would trust God to provide for and curate their education, even if it might be all around the world.
Q3. Hello Waijia, have you ever had a best friend. How do we deal with the emotions we feel when we see our bestie getting along better with someone else than us and the fear of being replaced. How do we not make an idol out of friendship or rather what is a healthy biblical way to see friendships.
Awww hugs. I so understand this.
Yes, I had “best friends” before. And losing them, for whatever reason, can be devastating.
Interestingly, just this week, I told my children that it’s okay to have “good friends” and “close friends” but only Jesus can really be your “best friend.”
After suffering from heartaches and betrayals myself, I’ve come to learn that it’s far healthier to have a circle of close friends, who can take turns to support one another, rather than rely solely on a “best friend,” which I think can sometimes put undue pressure on each other.
After 10 years of marriage, I’ve also learnt that even your spouse cannot be your “all in all.” It’s not only unrealistic, but very unhealthy.
Only Jesus can fulfill all our needs.
I hope this helps a little, my friend! And I pray you’ll find that core community of close friends you need ❤️
Q4. I’m a leader in church and i’m struggling with some issues, how should I deal with it
Ah. I feel your heart.
I don’t know if I’m reading your thoughts rightly, but I’m guessing you’re feeling like there’s no safe space to turn to for healing, since you feel you’re there to provide healing for everyone else. I’m sorry this is a hard place to be.
My best advice?
Pray for a godly community of friends outside your home church who can bear yr burdens with you.
“But shouldn’t my church meet all my emotional needs too? Isn’t it wrong to seek community outside?”
Why should it be? The Church at large is the Body of Christ.
We all have friends outside work whom we talk to about work troubles. We all have friends outside family whom we speak to about family challenges.
If your church and work community is the same, it can be challenging when things get enmeshed.
If you are reading this and you asked this question, I’d love to gift you a copy of “The Emotionally Healthy Leader” by @petescazzero
If you wish to read it, drop my team a note at [email protected] with yr address and contact number and its yours.
Q5. How do you face your fears
Many of them are irrational, such as my fear of driving. I also have social anxiety that’s triggered in very peculiar and specific circumstances.
I know this is surprising- because I am happy to speak on stage (even though I still get nervous every time).
Recently, I was invited to a social dinner which I wanted to run away from.
I felt anxious about it and would have preferred to say no. But it was an opportunity to mentor and nurture the future generation of Christian doctors.
So, I used my values of faith, courage and sowing into the next generation to propel me to say yes.
I share this terrible video here because everything in it is wrong- my form, posture, etc. It’s a tricep exercise I’m extremely weak in. But just because we’re bad at something or afraid of failure doesn’t mean we should avoid it.
I really think we should face it all the more- but in baby steps.
As @susandavid_phd would say, courage is not the absence of fear. It is fear walking.
So in short, to face your fears, I’d say:
1. Find out what it is you value
2. Use your values to clarify what brings meaning/ purpose to you
3. If possible, use your values as a means to help you develop courage
4. Lean into discomfort
5. Embrace failure
6. Walk forward nonetheless
Q6. Hi Wai Jia, what is the most challenging/difficult thing the Lord asked you to do?
What is the most difficult thing the Lord has asked you to do?
The honest truth?
Harder than raising kids. Harder than going to missions in Africa. Harder than confessing my shortfalls?
Firing someone. That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I love affirmation. I love nurturing people God has asked me to steward. I love stability.
But when my values of integrity were crossed,
God challenged me that good leadership means making the hard choices to ensure His values are upheld.
To fire someone with justice and mercy— with integrity and compassion— that’s honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
True!