“It’s time, Wai Jia.”
When the words left Cliff’s mouth, my heart stopped. For 17 years, I’d been waiting to be ready. Was this it?
“I’m not ready, there are so many things to wrap up- I…” my voice trailed off. I recognized this defending.
“There’ll always be something to tie up,” Cliff’s eyes looked straight ahead, unflinching.
He was right.
For months since I returned from Eswatini, we’d been looking for, waiting on opportunities to serve in Africa. I’d received dozens of emails, none with the right fit.
Two Sundays ago, as my pastor @limlipyong called us out of our comfort zones, I defended myself silently, “I’ve availed myself. But no doors have opened.”
I’d waited for months.
That very afternoon, a UNICEF job opening in Zambia that fit my skillsets to a T stared back at me, watching, waiting. Watching me watch it back.
My mind spun. What about the teams I lead now? Our home? My friends? My kids’ schooling? My nicely-laid plans? What about my book launch in America?
Then I heard that still small voice. The voice that only called out in a still small whisper.
“Trust Me. Follow Me. Say yes.”
My eyes soured. This is why I can never confirm speaking invites too soon. Why I cannot sign up for annual gym memberships. Why I couldn’t be put up for promotion at work in spite of my contributions.
Because at the drop of a hat, we know we must obey.
“But what if God wants us to wait? What if we’re being rash, Cliff?”
“The Apostle Paul always pushed forward, Wai Jia. It was the Holy Spirit who directed him, and who closed doors. Paul always pressed on. We must, too. If God closes the door, we trust Him. But you should apply.”
So today marks the day, that we say yes again to the big unknown.
It was yes then, it must be yes now.