Last Sunday, I left forever changed.❤️🩹
God broke something hard in me, burnt up the dross, set up an altar where it once was dirt.
I thought I was there to give, but I ended up receiving the biggest gift of all- to be set free from the fear of man.
Before the service, my palms felt clammy. I hid in a dark corner. My throat was sore from an unbroken chain of speaking engagements in June. I sucked on lozenges all morning. I spoke to my kids in whispers, unsure if I had my voice left.
But just before I went up, I felt God say, “This is not about you. It’s never been. This is about Me.“
Last Sunday, I preached, white-knuckled, like I have NEVER preached before in my life.
Maybe it was having Cliff with me. Maybe it was knowing I had nothing to lose since I’d bared my hardest life story previously. Maybe it was feeling so incapable that I had no choice but to ask God to speak through me, or I would die of embarrassment on stage.
But for the first time, I didn’t care if people thought I was too young or female to be preaching. I didn’t care if people would criticize me for telling stories instead of a 3-point sermon.
For the first time, I didn’t feel the need to check my phone after for messages of affirmation. I didn’t feel compelled to search faces for their validation.
When streams of people came and wept at the altar call, as we sang to the Rock of ages for His provision, I, too, cried. I didn’t want to leave.
“What happened? Your preaching is on a whole new level,” Cliff hugged me tight.
“It’s today,” I cried, “It makes a HUGE difference to me that you’re here. And God is messing me up inside.”
All I knew, was I gave 150% of myself when I spoke. I felt God’s pleasure. And I now know what it means to preach for the audience of One.
Gonna keep doing this. 😭
*For those of you who laughed and cried with me on Sunday, who wept at the altar, and who’ve journey with me through my preaching journey since last year, I’m so grateful.
** All my recent sermons will be put up on the upcoming Kitedreams platform. Please pray with my team who’ve been working hard, to put tog this new platform to inspire us to dream bravely & live boldly ❤️