I’d never been wrecked by my own message.
You’d think it’d be impossible, since it’s one’s own story, but when I got home, crashed, and spent the next two days sleeping my grief away, I knew the Holy Spirit had wrecked me, too.
The day I’d to speak on shame in my message entitled “Unbound and Set Free,” I’d awoken from a nightmare- I’d gone on stage without shoes on, a picture of vulnerability, and upon asking for feedback, someone said, “It was totally forgettable.”
I awoke, recognizing the enemy’s familiar ways.
On stage, I spoke, shakily, painfully. Speaking in public for the first time about my own shame story was harder than I thought.
At one point, I thought I lost the audience.
When it kept laughing, with great affection, at my most painful moments, I, caught off-guard, felt naked, shoeless. Felt the enemy taunting me- “you stupid girl.”
Then, God crashed in on the service.
I’d spoken countless of times in my life. But never had I seen so many people, young and old, from soldierly young men to elderly ladies- bawl and grieve at the altar.
As we sang “Shame, it doesn’t live here anymore,” I saw the audience reverberate with confusion, grief, then a sure freedom🕊.
No one knew how hard it was to get myself up and out there, how Saturday was spent in tears to God, because it was also my first sermon preached realizing it would no longer be uploaded online on my church’s platform (due to manpower constraints)- until God provided a video editor and more help for us to start our own Kitedreams platform.
An older lady came up to me, tears streaming down her cheeks, saying, “God wanted me to come up just to tell you how powerful this msg is.” Then, more IG messages came in.
Thank you- to the people who came, wept, wrote to me bravely, thank you. It means more to me than you’ll ever know- to know my own shame story, now rewritten, now makes a difference to others. 🕊
*If you’ve been blessed by my messages before, would you pray alongside us for a part-time video editor (paid role) who would join our team and funds to amplify what we do to bless more people? 🙏🏾