“How do you manage it all?” Is a question I get asked a lot.
My honest answer is that one can never manage it “all.”
We must not expect ourselves to.
I once read that the most compassionate people are the ones who set the strongest boundaries. While this sounds counter-intuitive, I know it’s true.
In 2020, six rounds of burnout wrung me dry. Back then, people contacted me at all times of day, demanding more, more of me.
In 2021, in a God-encounter by the beach, I resolved not to be enslaved to others anymore.
It was hard. But God helped me push back. He gave me new words-
“How can we create a culture that promotes well-being?”
“How can we honor one another to be the best versions of ourselves?”
As I shared these words, something shifted. Courage birthed. I requested for work to be via email only, with textes only for emergencies. When things slipped, I gently reasserted- “Could we port this over to email? I no longer use WhatsApp for work.”
Lately, with various requests to mentor/speak/write/be filmed/etc, and sometimes being contacted inappropriately, I am learning- that feeling resentful is not a natural outcome I need to submit to.
Enforcing boundaries is what’s needed.
Being brave to say no, to say, “this is not appropriate,” is being brave to set the boundaries we need to thrive.
If you’ve become resentful of the work you so enjoyed, stop.
What is it telling you? Do you need to identify areas where boundaries can be strengthened? Do you need to say no more? Do you need courage to speak up on what’s not appropriate?
Where resentment brews, compassion cannot thrive. If someone is trying to manipulate you to say yes, hold your ground.
Remember that “no” means saying yes to your life priorities. Being everything to everyone saves nothing for those you love.
No one should guilt you into saying yes, even if they said they had a dream or a prophecy about you.
Take a moment. Seek God. Then bravely, draw those boundaries. It’s the most authentic, most loving way to give of yourself to the world, even if it means giving less at times.