I jerked up, trying to hide my rising alarm.
“I was sad at school today, Mama.”
What happened? Helplessness washed over me.
The truth spilled. Two of her closest friends were laughing at her for wearing her red hoodie because it was chilly.
I tried to listen, tried to explain how to cope with hurtful words. But all I really wanted was to make it un-happen, shield her from sadness.
That night, how we prayed. I realized, how a single moment could unhinge everything.
Then, “Mama, I’m running out of clothes. They don’t fit.”
I looked at her- remembering how hard we’d prayed when we moved from Singapore to Canada to the States with nothing more than a grocery bag worth of 5-month old clothes, only to have a new neighbor welcome us ready with three trash bag-sized of clothes for us- all for 6-9 month olds.
“Let’s pray, Sarah-Faith.”
Our second-born, Esther-Praise, listened, hands clasped.
The truth was- I could not stop the bullies, could not fill all her needs.
The next day, Sarah-Faith bounded home.
“Did you have a good day?” I asked.
“Yes Mama. S and E said sorry to me.”
“They what?”
“The teacher caught them.”
I held back tears. God did answer.
Two days later, a text arrived. Two huge bags of hand-me-down clothes were left outside our door.
Do you, like me, feel out-of-control when it comes to your little ones? Maybe you always want to shield and protect them and be their provider.
But I am learning, that instead of letting lack grow my anxiety, I can let it grow my faith. Prayer isn’t doing nothing- it’s accosting the lack and saying, “Watch my God provide.” It’s getting down on our knees and saying, “So my children will see.”
Mt 6:30 tugs at me: “If that is how God clothes the grass of the field… will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?”
How they jumped, twirled, saying “Thank you Jesus!” as they tried on dress after dress, as I had tears in my eyes.
Today, through prayer, would you let your lack bless you back?
For He provides, as He does the lilies of the field, every time.