This season, I was reminded of the similarities between both Christmas and Baby’s arrival- celebrations, food, endless gifts, and endless cheer.
Yet, in a very cold and frosty winter, with the lights and fanfare melting into a different, quiet kind of white Christmas this year, I began to reflect upon the kind of Christmases we would have when we become three.
I wondered how life would be like with you, if you would enjoy being part of our Team, traipsing the world to follow God’s call for our lives.
I began to wonder, if someday you might wonder why we lived the way we did, if you might question us for bringing you to the mission field. If maybe, we had stayed behind in one place and earned more to afford more, let you make friends from one country primarily, let you grow up “normally” with things other people had, you might be happier. I used to wonder, if our decisions, now and in future, might cause you to lack in some way.
This Christmas, I’m reminded that you have a better Father and parent than we could ever be to you. Did you know, that on the morning Mama was looking for a second-hand bassinet for you online, we went to church that day and a lady we met only the week before came to us with an almost brand-new bassinet and said she felt led to give it to us? I never told her or anyone else we needed one- not even Papa knew.
Did you know, that last Sunday, we went home with 3 big bags of clothes for you from a couple who wanted to bless you? I was a little apprehensive while opening the black trash bags, wondering if the clothes were weary and worn. They were trash bags after all. But my, were they beautiful, Baby. They were the cutest pieces from Baby Gap, Tommy Hilfiger’s and The Children’s Place, places we would probably never shop at for you on our own.
I was reminded, that Jesus was born to shepherd parents, who delivered him in dire circumstances of desperation. They had little, but they had Much.
And Jesus grew to become the Son of Man not because of what His parents could afford Him, but because of the greater, eternal purposes His Father had for Him.
Mary didn’t have money to buy fancy baby things, do private cord blood banking, or hire a confinement nanny. Joseph didn’t stress himself over buying Fisher-Price cribs, bouncers, diaper bags, playpens or Jolly-jumpers. They didn’t stress over buying childcare insurance or decorating the nursery.
They raised Jesus the best way they could, and God did the rest.
One day over a social gathering, I went home shaken, after learning I was earning less than half the income of my peers because of the decisions we had chosen based on God’s call. My face was flushed when put on the spot.
That very same evening, however, I returned to a very large house, and was reminded how His providence takes different forms. We might not have a better paycheck to buy you better things, Tiny Tam, but remember this, that God provides in ways beyond our imaginings. When the owner of our previous home asked us to house-sit his bungalow for free for a year, it would have cost us more than double my salary to rent it per month.
We are learning, that money may buy us what we want, but not what we need, Tiny Tam. And we can’t let it define us.
Mama understood this better just a few days ago, when she started to panic because Papa and Mama have stopped working to study full-time. Work is very important to people like us, Tiny, because it gives us a sense of importance, security, purpose- and things. Mama likes to work. I was scared to suddenly be without work, to prepare myself to be fully available to you, the tiniest human being we know.
But I am learning, that money doesn’t guarantee us sufficiency. God does.
We might not earn like we would have, Tiny. Christmases might not mean holidays overseas, endless gadgets and toys under the tree or branded clothes.
But Mama and Papa can tell you one thing for sure, that God’s hand is never too short to provide you with things. And the best part is, that things aren’t even the best part.
The best gift you could ever have, for Christmas or otherwise, is the gift of knowing Him, through and through.
The best gifts in life, are often not what you had to earn for yourself, but what was given to you, freely and liberally, by grace.
It’s Mama’s first white Christmas ever in her life, and we are both amazed at how God carved out this precious season of our lives to await and prepare for your arrival. That’s priceless, isn’t it? That’s something Mama’s career can’t buy for our family, can it?
So Mama and Papa’s prayer is that someday when you’re growing up, you’ll come to experience for yourself how good God is, how much thanksgiving can explode into a million bits of joy in our heart far more than any brand new toy, and how little there is we can provide for you that will truly be enough.
We pray that for all your life, God will be more than enough for you no matter where we are, that Christmas will be more than gifts or things, but the fullness of knowing His heart.
God is our sufficiency. Merry Christmas, Tiny Tam.
Love,
Mama
