Beloved.

It feels surreal, to finally travel to see the world that my husband had grown up in.

Some time back, we had dreamt to have a small cosy wedding celebration in Toronto to celebrate our union with Cliff’s relatives and friends who could not join us last year. There was little time and money to plan another event like that. After making several enquiries, we realized that it was impossible to find a venue at such short notice.

Our friend had warned us: People book venues more than a year in advance in Canada- you guys are a little late. She was right. And to boot, any location with beautiful grass and a clear blue sky which I had dreamed of also came with a four figure sum, which became close to a five figure sum after adding in the cost of their menu and private caterers, which they leave you no choice but to hire. That amounts to at least a hundred dollars per person, because they usually require one to choose a sit-down set menu. That’s how the wedding business works. Period.

I had secretly wished that a garden wedding might be more affordable in Canada- it was unthinkable to hold one in Singapore, but I had to put it aside. Cliff and I eventually discussed about having a cosy dinner or barbecue instead.

As for the wedding gown, I was prepared to show up in a little white sun-dress, since I had heard that renting a gown from Singapore would cost a few hundred dollars, at the very least, even if just for a day. I could not imagine how much we would be charged for renting it for an entire month. At a boutique we had walked into last year, I remember the quote being closer to five thousand dollars. How were we going to afford all of this? The wedding ceremony we had in our minds became smaller and smaller.

One of the biggest obstacles, reasons (or excuses, as some might confess) for people delaying the wonderful covenant of marriage has often been money. I am not rich enough, we need more savings, I want a presentable wedding. Looking back, of all the people I know, we are probably least qualified to get married again, money-wise.

Cliff is a missionary working for a non-profit organisation. I have come out of hectic hospital practice to take on health promotion for a semblance of a more peaceful life, to give me enough creative space to impact youth and continue this love I have for writing. (I am working on my fourth book now). But my pay-check has also taken a large cut, without the additional pay from 30-hour overnight shifts. It was only a few days ago, when I was checking our accounts, that it suddenly dawned upon me how much less I am earning, but how little change there has been in our lives: We don’t own a car, we didn’t go for a fancy honeymoon, and we are, in totality, happy. I bring home far less than I did when I was working over a hundred hours a week and working 30-hour shifts through the night, but for that, Cliff and I are both happier, and closer together.

With this in mind, it was really hard to make the similar decision to give all the money we received on the wedding day to a meaningful ministry. We both felt the strong temptation to keep the money that people might give us to ourselves. After all, we had already given forty thousand dollars from our first wedding to a ministry in Cambodia- wouldn’t it be okay to keep some for ourselves?

We forgot, that God’s economy is different from ours. Our mindsets, trapped in poverty, could only see God blessing us through the small and not the big, through what we could imagine and not what we could not see. Our minds, bound in convention, could only see ourselves scraping through this event, comforting ourselves that we were blessed enough already to be able to return to Canada to catch up with Cliff’s friends and family. He has not seen them for over a year, and few had the chance to be a part of that momentous part of his life.

God had a very different idea of expenditure.

After we had exhausted all resources and received email after email of rejection from wedding venues, we decided to stop all further action and just pray. I asked myself- why would God care about this? In the light of poverty and trafficking and the inhumane tragedies that were happening around the world and our prayers about going to the mission field, what did this prayer for having another ceremony amount to?

But God, being God, shows up in miraculous wonder, loving us in the most unexpected of ways.

As soon as we had felt we might have to be resigned to perhaps just having a barbecue at a friend’s place, we received an email from Toronto Botanical Gardens, one of Canada’s Top Ten wedding destinations.

One morning, Cliff woke up leaping and jumping in the bedroom. He was shouting and screaming and I thought he might have had gone mad. “LOOK AT THIS WAI JIA! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!”

He showed me the email from Toronto Botanical Gardens:

“We receive hundreds of emails a day actually, but for some reason, maybe the charm in your email made me read it again and click on the link to your video. I was in tears in the first few minutes…I have watched many videos about couples and weddings and proposals…but this – yours – was what I would call perfectly beautiful. Congratulations on your wedding and on finding each other.  I would very much like to help you where and how I can.”

That was the beginning of our journey of grace and gratitude, and we caught a glimpse of the generosity , abundance and crazy love of God for us.

I have always dreamed of a garden wedding, and God, in His own amazing way, kept that prayer close to His heart, to let me know, I was close to His.

For a very small token fee, Toronto Botanical Gardens, which is now dripping with vibrant colors in the summer, will be hosting us in their highly coveted Perennial Borders Garden this June 22^nd. Their smaller reception hall was booked, so they are giving us their larger Floral Hall for no charge at all. They have waived the technical and rehearsal charges, and, for another very small token sum, are throwing us a buffet of peppered steak kebabs, basil-marinated chicken in grilled zuchinni, lemon grilled tiger shrimp in jade sauce, Japanese sushi tolls, cocktail sandwiches and assorted pastries for our guests… This was far more than the milk and brownies that I was imagining would come out of our budget!

 

Two days ago, we picked up a beautiful heavy-textured gown which flows and falls magically like a waterfall from the wedding studio we had engaged last year. I had not imagined to find a gown that felt so distinctly “me”. It was only the second gown I had tried on, and the bridal studio is allowing us to take this gorgeous dress to Canada for a month at absolutely no charge at all.

 

 

We could not find a photographer as well, then out of the blue, received an email from a passionate stay-at-home mum who is a freelance photographer who felt such a connection with us. She has gone out of her way to make the day special, even checking out a stable for us because she knew about my love for horses. And it turns out, that a beautiful stable is just a 6 minute drive from Toronto Botanical Gardens itself. I could not help but feel that God had had it all planned out.

As June neared, one of Cliff’s friends offered to fundraise for part of his ticket so it is half-covered. His mum is blessing us with a beautiful three-tiered wedding cake, topping it off with a Bear and Bunny, the kind that I had dreamt of but could not have in our first wedding. And she is also giving us a one-night stay at the Niagara Falls from a special coupon she got.

As I stand to look at the miraculous ways God has blessed us, I stand in awe at the surprises and unexpected blessings that have come our way. This is Beyond my Imagination, and Beyond my Wildest Dreams. I was extremely happy and blessed at our wedding last year– we had received, in the same way, amazing blessings along the way from generous people. But it is almost as if God had decided to bless us with another round of blessings. He would not allow His children to fall short of anything at all, even a 2^nd wedding! It is still hard to conceive at times.

I am amazed and in awe. We had imagined a casual barbecue, not a full wedding ceremony in a beautiful garden!

When we give, He gives more.

 Over the past few months and weeks, God has been speaking to us about the proper stewardship of money and what we have, and it has amazed us to see that having more money does not make one richer. What kills poverty, and frees us from the bondage of a poverty mindset, really is Giving. When we give our earthly riches away, it opens a portal into heaven, through which God’s heavenly and spiritual riches can flow down upon us. And while this should not and must not be the reason as to why we give, our personal conviction of God’s sacrifice for us to be a channel of blessing to others, is often the key for us to receive much more than we ever imagined. I am learning, the more we let go and give, the more we have and receive.

We have received so much. So freely we receive, and freely we give.

This June 22nd 2013, we have decided that our wedding gifts and money collected will go to Touchnature, a social enterprise in Calcutta that creates proper employment for women trafficked over the border, so they can be free from the bondage of slavery. Where our money goes, that’s where how heart will follow, too.

As I look at my peers climbing up the corporate ladder in clinical practice, and looking how, in a little while, even my juniors will overtake me in rank, status and pay, I sometimes wonder how life would be different if I had taken the other path. I remember Cliff and I had looked at our future together, and wondered how we could afford housing, further studies and kids. We asked ourselves how foolish it would be to continually watch our bank accounts shrink and how useful it might be practically to collect some money from our second ceremony for ourselves. But we remember the many “foolish” sacrifices other missionaries had given out of obedience and love for God, and we know, it is just part of the refining process, for us to learn to live for heavenly treasures.

When we look at the big picture, and see things through God’s eyes, we then see the miraculous provision of God to provide Out of the Ordinary, to provide Above and Beyond. We see how through the releasing of our earthly riches, God releases His heavenly riches to us- that priceless sense of privilege, gratitude and joy to be His beloved child.

We are His beloved children. Even our most hidden and “frivolous” requests like a garden wedding means something to the Father . Yes, it is hard to believe. After all, why should He care for such things? But you are His beloved child, too.

This is the Amazing-ness of God, that He cares for us in a deeply personal way. And as we step out in faith and obedience, He releases to us things far better than we could ever dream or imagine. 

Thank you for journeying with us.

 

 

 

“Give, and it will be given to you.

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over,

will be poured into your lap.

For with the measure you use,

it will be measured to you.”

–        Luke 6:38

 

“God is able to make All Grace abound to you,

so that in all things at all times, having all that you need,

you will abound in every good work.”

– 2 Corinthians 9:8.