I still remember I wanted Out. Nearing the day, I even began to dread it.
But, attending the 3-day 2 night marriage preparation course last weekend turned out to be an amazing experience. To every couple out there, I daresay this is a non-negotiable in a journey towards marriage.
A lot of things became clear to me: Our similarities. Our differences. Our likes and dislikes. Most importantly, I think the breakthrough we both had was in becoming absolutely sure of our choice of each other. The previous confusion and anguish within me regarding the struggles and obstacles we faced in getting married this year dissipated. It became clear to me, that whatever the outcome, it was God’s desire for us to pray for marriage this year.
There came a peace, and a certainty that the trials we faced were for a reason: to refine and shape us, to do that much-needed inner work within us in preparation for the fiery trials ahead. Marriage, is not a smooth journey, and all we were experiencing could be seen as obstacles, or better yet, mountains which we would climb together and hence become closer, to God and each other.
We talked about communication differences, about our personality differences and differing opinions on various issues. We talked about “hot” topics or topics which we felt emotionally charged about, recurrent issues which caused conflict between us and realized that every issue stemmed from a hidden, deeper issue such as trust, insecurity, or the need for control, acceptance, recognition or respect. By discovering those hidden issues, we learnt how we could better love each other.
Commitment. What does it mean to you? We were asked to write a few sentences about it or draw a picture. Because I was the only one who drew a picture among the other couples, I was asked to present it in front of everyone. You liked it very much, heh.
I said, that you have displayed Commitment to me in by being with me in the storm. In the times I have been unloveable, you never left me. In the times I was stressed or fatigued or upset, you never opted out. Instead, you stood by me, braving the weather with me. With an umbrella in your hands, you waited through the storm with me and pointed the rainbow out to me.
This might be such a cheesy post, but I admire you, now more than ever, for the commitment you have displayed to me through my ups and downs in the past few months.
It was beautiful timing then, to celebrate your 32nd birthday today, just days after our marriage preparation course ended. We both woke up at 6am and met to pray together. We both took leave today. We thanked God for your extra 22 years of life, after that fateful day the cancer was discovered. I looked at you in awe of the miracle God had done, and thankfulness swelled up within me. I remember all the photos of the triathlon races you had done and which you had showed me last night. You are an overcomer. You have always been an overcomer. And you have taught me, are still teaching me to overcome trials, day by day. Together, I have faith that we shall overcome this trial together, overcome this obstacle which stands in our way of being together. I realize, that nothing good in my life has ever come easy.
Today, also happens to be the day I got awarded a prize at hospital, and you were there with me to receive it. During the marriage preparation course, we learnt about the importance of being there for each other, not just in spirit, but physically as well. I have always enjoyed attending your talks and sharing sessions, and am so thankful for your enthusiasm in everything I participate in. You are my greatest cheerleader.
Through my ups and downs, tears and joy, you have consistently shown me support, displayed grace and demonstrated love to me. Through the storm, you never let me go.
Thank you for holding up a rainbow umbrella for me. Your friend was right, triathlon truly did teach you everything about being the best boyfriend.
Happy Birthday, Iron Man. I know what your birthday wish this year is. Let’s pray.
