Steadfastness.

It was a close friend who shared with me today, “Jia, just wanted to share something that I read with you. Steadfastness is about going on in spite of having a weight bear down upon us. And I think, this is what is happening to us now, there’s a weight bearing down upon you, upon me, upon all of us. It may not be easy, but we’ve got to be steadfast.”

A few days ago, another friend reminded me, ” Your shoulders are too small, Wai Jia. While you are feeling down now, remember that you have a God that carries your load. This is why you need God… Please try to see how much God wants to love you and wants to carry your load…”

Every day in this new hospital is a battle. I’m not sure if it is the new culture, the people or the experiences I’ve been facing which have wrung me out and hung me out to dry, but all I know, is that for the friends I’ve made and the encouragement I’ve received from many of you (juniors, nurses, colleagues, readers…), I am truly, truly grateful. Thank you for buying me a random drink, for passing me that note and beautiful angel key chain, for that hug, that gentle word, that squeeze to tell me I’m not alone… They all touched me in ways which brought tears to my eyes. After a month of being battered, I’ve finally been rotated to another team. Only time will tell if things will improve.

It’s ironic how in a time like this where I feel lost, that the Health Promotion Board should ask me for an interview based on the topic of Resilience. Isn’t that bouncing back from setbacks? Isn’t that using obstacles as stepping stones and turning roadblocks into launchpads?

And so I encouraged myself, even during my 32-hour shift from 6am on Sunday till 2 pm today, that someday, that God has a purpose for this all- character building, or learning humility, or digging deep into His strength… That all these tears daily have a reason to exist…

And so I remind myself to be steadfast, even in the face of daily discouragement:

“Beloved, having your conduct honourable among (others),

that when they speak against you as evildoers,

they may, by your good works which they observ, glorify God…

Therefore, submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for God’s sake… 

For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put silence the ignorance of foolish men…

Honor all people.

Love the brotherhood, Fear God. Honor the king.

Servants, be submissve to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle,

but also to the harsh.

For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully.

For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently?

But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. “

– 1 Peter 2: 13-20