On leave and back.

So it’s back to work tomorrow.

For the past week or so, I’ve been on leave and it’s been liberating, strangely reassuring, slightly unnerving and blissfully peaceful and crazy busy, all at the same time.

This is the first time I’ve gone on leave from work, without going on a mission trip. And it feels right, meeting people, connecting with my community, going about my daily duties… … I think it’s actually called… living.

Without the frazzled craziness of workworkwork, patients to see, minutes to beat, phonecalls to answer, 30-hour calls to endure. There is time, to simply BE.

Time to wake up in the morning and smell the cool morning air, feel the warmth of the early sunshine kissing one’s skin, listen to the birds. Time to jog to the beach to catch the morning sunrise in all its spectacular glory, time to go on a round-island bike ride with friends before dawn, time to tarry and stopover for a decadent breakfast.

Time to lunch at a cafe with friends you have not met for ages, only to realize how remarkable people they turned out to be, making impacts on the lives of many others, creating jobs, giving talks… Time to be inspired by ordinary people, heroes in the making. Time to linger alone in Starbucks with colorpencils and books and paper strewn over the table, and savour the yumminess of a soy latte with a cream cheese bagel in the midst of bossa nova on a cloudy morning.

Time to work on Rainbow, my second book which was published in February to raise awareness about depression and self-esteem issues, especially among youth. Which is the primary reason I didn’t leave for some other developing country this time. There’s still unfinished work left to be done.

There was time to meet up with the Health Promotion Board and mental health committee, time to discuss plans and projects for their next campaign, time to talk about collaborations. Time to write emails. Time to go down to my alma mater to give an assembly talk.

Time to meet up with my church’s medical mission team and with Dr Tan Lai Yong, the medical missionary to China, to plan our next medical mission trip in October. Time to visit Zhang Qing and wish her all the best for her surgery.

Time to buy my loved ones dinner and lunch. Time to swim. Time to bike. Time to run. Time to prepare for my upcoming triathlon this Sunday. Time to draw.

Time to simply connect and be… me.

This period of leave was so crucial in helping to reassure me, that I was, and still am, human.

I have the capacity to be, and not just do. I have the ability to be still. I have the security to be alone and enjoy solitude.

It’s back to work tomorrow, but at least I can return knowing, that I’m not a machine after all, not just a mediocre house officer running around every day like a madman trying to run ahead of time.

I am a human being with thoughts and emotions and dreams. And in my free time, I can make those dreams come true.

This Rainbow Story is not over yet.

“I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”

-Jeremiah 31:25