You see, as medical students in our clinical years, we rotate around various hospitals in Singapore so much that we rarely spend more than a month or two in a single hospital. Surgery, internal medicine, paediatrics, dermatology, infectious disease etc… for each specialty, we move to a different location.
Alisha is the 4-year old girl from Nepal whom my missionary friend and I were involved with to coordinate a cochlear implant surgery in Singapore some time last year. I remember, both times Alisha had been scheduled to fly in for her speech and hearing therapy appointment at the National University Hospital, I had happened to be scheduled there for my postings as well. It was because of that, that I was able to visit her and accompany her for her therapy sessions. Not once, but twice.
Mdm H is the lovely lady whose waterbag had burst only slightly more than midway through her pregnancy. I remember, she made a huge impact on me because of her joy in spite of her circumstance. Most women can be moody and emotional during their pregnancy because of the hormonal changes and various other stressors. (Pregnancy in itself can be very stressful.) Yet, in spite of such a huge setback, with news of her baby needing to be born prematurely and possibly facing many risks and future complications, Mdm H remained positive, strong and held on firmly to her belief that God was in control- not out of ignorance, but sheer faith. I remember, the two times she text messaged me to inform me she was carrying her baby boy to the hospital for followup visits with the doctor, I had happened to be allocated to that hospital as well. Because of that, we could catch up and I could visit her son. She wrote about our 1st and 2nd meeting. In my time of self-doubt and despair, she gave me immense encouragement.
Mdm S is the strong parent whose faith and strength shall always be etched in my memory. Her 3-year old son, E, has been in and out of hospital for bloatedness due to a kidney problem. The week her son was warded happened to be the week when I was posted to that hospital as well. Because of that, I could visit and tell him funny stories where we laughed ourselves silly, and pray together with Mdm S.
Qing is the amazing young woman from China with a grossly disfigured face. Having had acid poured all over her beautiful face when she was 14 by her elder sister’s vengeful boyfriend, she had been almost blind for 5 years before Dr. Tan Lai Yong, a Singaporean doctor who had been serving the needy in China for more than a decade, flew her in to Singapore for various skin and eye treatments, and took her to various meetings to speak about her experience. Her simple joy and faith in a God whom she believed loved her immensely would bring tears to those who heard her story.
On the second day of my Ophathalmology rotation 6 months back, I remember bumping into her at the waiting room. She happened to be scheduled to see my professor, who was her doctor.
Yesterday, I received a text message from her saying she would be at the Eye Centre again. Incidentally, even thought I am now doing my dermatology rotation at a different hospital, I had been scheduled weeks ago for an appointment with my therapist there on the same morning. Perfect.
So many times, it seemed as if God had allowed these special arrangements to take place so that I would have the chance to enjoy these very special moments. Coincidence? On so many occasions?
Today, Qing was there in her signature sunglasses which she uses to hide her eyes. Where her right eye should have been, is a red, fleshy piece of skin and some clear liquid dripping out. When I first met her, there was an ulcer and pus- things had improved since then. Her other eye, with a severely damaged eyelid and only a few eyelashes, had undergone 2 previous corneal implants due to infections.
“I certainly hope the doctors will say my eyes have improved this time!”
She is almost blind. Before she met Dr. Tan a few years ago, she could see even less. She is now 22, almost my age.
Instead of being resigned to doing nothing, she spends her time making beautiful cloth flowers which she sells to raise support for herself and other victims of abuse in the Rehabilitation Centre at Kunming, China. On my 23rd birthday this year, instead of buying me more things I didn’t need, my friends purchased the beautiful flowers made by her. They were sold in a flash.
She opened her wallet. “Wai Jia,” she said in mandarin, “this is my old photo. This is how I looked like before. I was dancing in a performance, I chose this dress because I thought it looked so pretty.”
I fell silent. She was so beautiful.
Doe-eyed and innocent, she was so beautiful at 13 before that fateful day. Now, her face was, by normal standards, hideous. No one would walk by her without taking a second look. She had one eye. Her face was a giant keloid. Half her nose was gone, her mouth was crooked. Part of her scalp was so badly damaged she had to cover it with her fringe.
This time, she came with a friend, HJ. When we had a quiet moment together away from Qing, I asked HJ, “Does Qing ever feel depressed?”
“No. Can’t you see, she’s always very cheerful.”
“But how can that be? Surely she has difficult moments?”
I thought about how difficult it must be for her to face herself each day, how depressing it must be to feel ugly, blind and to have to apply creams, eyedrops, and wear contact lenses for one eye to prevent recurrent corneal infections on her only good eye. For myself, just a hamstring injury and a pelvic fracture had caused me so much grief- I had days feeling fat and ugly, and couldn’t imagine how it must be like for Qing.
“It happened so many years ago that she’s learnt to cope. If anything, it’s her elder sister who still copes with some guilt.”
I knew HJ was telling the truth, because Qing once shared with me how God loves her so much that He sent angels to bring her from China to Singapore, people to sponsor her multiple operations in Singapore which cost tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, and doctors to see her for free.
She is 22. This happened to her when she was 14.
I had to leave for my medical appointment. And it made me see how our every moment is a miracle, how many things there are which we can be grateful and thankful for. I was fed up with being injured, fed up with having to followup with my therapist regarding my old illness of anorexia, but she showed me how precious our life is, and how much we have to be grateful for for even having the chance to receive medical treatment.
Here we are worrying about how we look, how we appear in front of others, worrying about being fat or having acne or shoddy, when there is so much more to life. This afternoon at the dermatology clinic, we saw so many patients who came in wanting to know how they could get rid of their eyebags, skin creases or tiny skin tags less than 2mm in diameter.
Granted, these are valid urban anxieties, but do we forget, that somewhere out there, in a world different from ours, there are people living lives with such pure faith and joy, strength and courage in the face of tragedy, injustice and pain. Do we lose ourselves in our self-absorption.
“Qing, thanks so much for keeping in touch with me.”
Thank you, for being a part of the many special encounters God has orchestrated to show me how gratitude and faith, courage and love, can make such a huge difference not only in our lives, but in the lives of those around us.
Thank you for showing us what it means to live life with such valour.
You may be almost blind, but you’ve opened our eyes to the things unseen.
“… while we look not at things seen,
but things unseen;
for things seen are temporary,
but things unseen are eternal…”