It is well.

“Hey, haven’t seen you in long while- where’s your new beau?”

“I’ve decided not to get a new bike anymore. Not now, anyway.”

“… … What? But why not?”

Have you ever felt ashamed of something that you wanted? It could be just a thought, a harmless, fleeting thought. Maybe a nicer wardrobe, better hair, a sharper mind, newer things. Maybe it’s within your means to obtain them too.

But perhaps sometimes, we lose more of ourselves trying to gain what we do not have, and might not have been meant to be ours. Perhaps sometimes, it was meant to be ours, but just at a later time.

It took me a whole month to start cycling again after that incident. A whole month to deal with what I had discovered in myself, and to listen to what God was teaching me through this.

We will never have enough. There is always something bigger and better out there, an attractive lifestyle which beckons us like a harlot. A perm, a manicure, nicer shoes. Nothing wrong with them, but do we know when to stop? Why did we start? The temptation of self-gratification and wanting more, coveting more can mould us terrifyingly. Our choices shape who we are.

Have you perhaps, at some point, been partially unhappy with who you are, and what you have- or don’t? Do we keep wishing for gifts we do not have, and pester God for them?

I know I have.

What we have may not be perfect. But perhaps, it is what God wants for us at this time. I don’t believe He’s a scrooge, but I also believe He cares more about our characters than things. Learning to be thankful for and content with simplicity, may just be the most precious gift of all.

So I’m not getting a new bike anytime soon, not till God gives the go-ahead. I’m happy with my mane of hair. I’m going to spend the next one-week vacation reading biographies of doctors who made a difference, and be thankful for the privilege to pursue medicine, however painful the System may be.

Learning to take joy in our lot, whatever it may be, may just be the greatest gift of all.