Tall Order.

No one likes to be last. It’s always better being first, or is it?

When I first started cycling with Joyriders, I was intimidated. After all, I had only learnt how to cycle (much less on a roadbike) for a few months. I was always at the back, slinking behind as other people zoomed ahead of me. The feeling of being left behind as a line of elite cyclists roar past you is a desolate one. You try your very best to catch up- your adrenalin is pumping, your legs are turning sour with pain, but the group speeds off, further and further away, and you are… dropped.

Being dropped. It’s a terrible feeling. You’re all alone, with no one to encourage or cheer you on. And worse, the fact that you’re not in a group means that extra effort is required to push against the strong headwind by yourself.

But I ride with the Joyriders, joyfully now, because I’ve met so many people who’ve touched my life there. Friends like Big A always looked out for weaker, slower, newer riders like myself when I first joined the group. He’s very, very fast, but he’s what we call our Guardian Angel because he takes care of others. I could never fathom why he would be so patient and encouraging toward us, instead of speeding ahead with the fiercely competitive group. (After all, in sports, it is all about Pride. I’ve seen elite cyclists snub their noses at slower riders, and Big A has shared with me some nasty experiences he has had with proud sportsmen too.)

So I always ask Big A why. To which he always replied- “If we are good at something, we should always help others who need help.” Without him, I never would have continued cycling after being dropped so many times, over and over. One thing I know, he never dropped me.

No one likes to be left behind. No one likes to feel like they are slow. Do you?

That day, I received a phonecall. “I’m sorry I can’t train with you on Thursday. I’m going for the Florida Championships in November. This is a very crucial training period for me, I hope you understand.”

“Yes,” I said. “I understand. It’s all right, I fully understand.”

After all, how could I not? M was going for the Florida Championships, an international triathlon where the best of the best would be competing against one another for top spots. He had come in first in his category for his last race. So when he said he couldn’t meet me for a ride on Thursday because he had his own training to do, how could I not understand?

But my heart sank, still. Even though I didn’t mean for it to. There was an awkward moment over the phone. What was unspoken but very straightforwardly-conveyed was- I was too slow for him. My rational mind hardly allowed for me to feel sad, but I cannot say that it did not sting a little, still.

The reality of life hit me at that moment, very starkly, that the slow ones in life always get left behind. Few, like Big A, go the distance to ride back and cheer them on.

Ever since I learnt how to cycle and started participating in races, I learnt the importance of being willing to be slow, not just as a cyclist, but as a person living life.

Slowing down for others means being patient to teach someone something you already know without making them feel stupid about it. It means sacrificing your time, effort and pride for another. Slowing down means being willing to be (gasp) dropped for the sake of someone else. It’s not easy, especially when you know going on the fast track would improve your own performance, give you a chance at winning a medal.

Fungus once asked me before why I enjoyed volunteering as a biking escort with the handcyclists so much during their races- “Why don’t you compete in the races yourself? Don’t you feel better going faster, and completing your own race?”

Ever since I started cycling better, God’s been teaching me the humility to slow down for others. He’s been teaching me, that his purpose for me in sports is very different-my body was not made for speed. But his gift to me of finally being able to cycle (after having a bike phobia till I was 21) because of the love, support and help of many others, requires me to pass on that love and help to others too. Big A has taught me, that there is so much more to being first, and fast. Because when we slow down for others, God births in us something far more valuable than any medal.

It is called character.

I told Fungus, that there is no meaning to cycling, or to life, if done without purpose or heart. There is no meaning in completing a race alone, if not done from a position of humility, and a heart to love and help others too. Some of my best rides were the slower ones, because I had time to take in the scenery and encourage someone else. They were memorable because of the encouragement I received along the way. The charity ride 2 weeks ago left me very badly sunburnt because we rode rather slowly under the hot sun, but riding with Dr William Tan and my friends for a good cause was a thoroughly memorable experience.

But I must admit, I am selfish, too. Now, I ride much faster than before, and I have been been guilty of dropping others to catch up with a faster group ahead. I have been guilty of feeling irritated in class when someone asks me a question, of which I think the answer is obvious. I have been guilty of feeling so even though I have been hurt before by another’s prideful response implying that I ought to know the answer to such a simple question.

The fact is, no one likes to be slow. And most of us struggle with slowing down for others. It is all a matter of pride.

The next day, M texted me, “Sorry, I felt I was being prideful regarding the ride. When would best work for you? God is teaching me to let Him work in my life.”

Sometimes, going slow means inconveniencing yourself. It means a sacrifice on your part. It means humility. And it also means doing so in a patient, loving way that doesn’t make someone else feel bad.

It is a tall order.

But it also means gaining a reward no top-speed can ever win you, it means gaining a type of fulfillment in character that no physical traning can ever bring. And in the end, perhaps the greatest achievement is in knowing that it made a difference in someone else’s life-that joy is inexplicable.

So tomorrow, Big A and a group of us will be biking escorts for the handcyclists during the trifactor race. We are going not because we are altruistic, but because we have a lot of fun doing this together. We had a lot of fun the last time.

I am learning, that those who are first, may be so in the world’s eyes, but God sees things differently. His prize is different. I am learning many things from them, still.