Thanksgiving.

In June, during my short 3-week break, I had planned to go on a medical mission trip to Aceh, or visit an orphanage in Borneo. I had been excited about it for months beforehand, only to be disappointed to find out that the dates clashed with our church retreat. After a lot of praying, struggling and finally seeking wiser counsel, I felt that in spite of my human desire to travel and take yet another adventure, God’s wish for me was to attend the church camp instead. Long-term missionaries need to be rooted in their communities, and not always be zipping off to some exotic place, they said. And I agreed.

Bah, but I wanted to travel to a place of adventure, not attend a retreat in a hotel. I was upset. I threw a tantrum at God. Then, trusting that God had the best for me as He always does, I got over it.

Aunty Ay comforted me, saying, ” I’m sure God has an even greater adventure for you this season. It will be very exciting. Just wait and see.”

The theme for the camp was: “Return to the stronghold, O prisoners of hope; This very day I am declaring that I will restore double to you.” -Zechariah 9:12

This season, I suddenly understood why the church camp was so essential to my growth, why the message was so pertinent for me. For after all that God has brought me through in the past 3 years when I fought against Him unknowingly and rebelliously, I have finally returned to Him, returned to His bosom, His stronghold, and have had all that was taken away from me finally restored to me, doubly.

This season has been the most fruitful one ever. And it is only in retrospection that I can fully appreciate what God has been doing, and continues to do. I stand in awe of all that He has done in my life, and I say this not to boast, because knowing myself fully well, I know it would have been impossible had I relied on my human strength.

Only God could have brought the people at such strategic times into my path to help me- for Amos appeared just weeks before my triathlon when I really needed to learn to swim, and he had to leave for overseas- right after I had picked up enough swimming to be prepared for the mini-race.

Only He could have given me the joy for Obsterics and Gynaecology (O&G), such that I was able to enjoy such a heavy module so thoroughly and still have energy to train, to take a flute exam, lead bible study, teach lessons at church, meet people, do things.

Only He, knowing that I had obeyed to attend the church camp instead, could have arranged this mission trip to Sri Lanka with my church at such a perfect time- right after my O&G exams ended, during a fairly relaxed module such that my application for leave got approved by the Dean, and returning just in time for a heavier module. Had I left for my own plans wilfully in June, I would’ve been too tired to go for this trip and completely missed out on hearing this very important message for my life.

For it was only because I heard the message over church camp that I can now fully appreciate God’s work in my life.

Perhaps you are going through a really tough time (I know some of you have been). You, like me some time back, may be wondering why life is so unfair. You may be feeling low, inadequate and unloved by God in knowing that others can accomplish so much and be so fruitful while you are struggling in such utter darkness. I want you to know that everything has a season. I was in that winter’s season before for a reason, to learn certain lessons, and now that I’ve learnt them, I am now in spring and summer. At winter, I railed at God and resented my position, but it is only in tasting frost that we can fully appreciate the glory of sunshine.

So take heart, soldier. Soldier on. You might be in winter now, the way I was too before, but seasons pass. Winter is a time for the ground to fallow, for roots to dig deep without any apparent fruit up above. But as long as you allow God to do His gardening work, you will see spring and taste the goodness of the change of seasons. It is God, and not myself, who is amazing.

So return to the stronghold, you prisoner of hope. And God shall, in time, restore double unto you, too. Take heart. Just you wait.

And thank you God, for your amazing way of making everything beautiful in Your time.

Be back in a week’s time to start my Paediatrics module. Taa.