Unexpected

Thank you so much for praying for our epic meeting this week.

After confirming the meeting time with everyone days before, just 30 minutes before the meeting time, the two most crucial people texted to say they forgot they had another meeting elsewhere. 💔😓

I looked at the textes, face flushed, but felt steadied by a few things—

1.⁠ ⁠Your prayers 🙏🏾
2.⁠ ⁠⁠That this is common in Africa. Not to get angry or upset, but to understand that in a different culture where relationships matter a great deal more than schedules, this is extremely common. 🤯

I already knew- that for what we hoped for to happen, would require nothing short of a series of miracles. 🔥

So we showed up anyway. We made calls. We asked nicely. And above all, I told the Lord that no matter what happens, I would not be mad. Because I would take this all as a learning opportunity as an insight to Tanzanian systems and culture. There would be no losses— only observation and learning. 💛

30 minutes past the meeting time, most of them showed up. Our first miracle! ☀️But instead of sitting in a room, we talked under a tree. 🌴

Spatterings of Swahili went around. I understood some. Not a great deal. Then suddenly, a key person appeared! But he said he had to go off immediately. I asked if I could take 5 minutes of his time, he gave me 20.

Then they all trooped off. I had done what I needed to share the injustice we’d witnessed and off they went!

But later, I discovered— the execution of what was discussed fell apart.

The accused felt unnecessarily persecuted— retaliated, chasing everyone out. A victim was rescued but alas, no re-education or warning could be shared. Everyone fled!

What do you do when your best-made plans fall through?
What do you when you feel responsible for causing someone else’s anger? I went home, deflated, and blamed myself.

Perhaps I had not understood the culture enough. Perhaps I had made a mistake. Perhaps…

But it was a friend who reminded me, that perhaps too, that what I had done was NOT wrong- to seek out local channels was right, and that ultimately, how things transpired and how people reacted were out of my control.

A friend righty pointed out- that sometimes, self-blame is the easiest way to feel in control in a world where we feel so many elements are out of our control.

Still, I’ve learnt a great deal. About people and their motivations, about Africa and its running on special time. I still feel I don’t know so much between unspoken lines.

I learnt that while I had moments of growth, I also cannot be responsible for the many things out of my control resulting in someone else’s anger. And while every good missionary (esp Asian missionary) has a rule book to keep the peace and harmony, I’m learning that at times, Jesus also came with a sword to confront wrongdoing.

Yet im learning (hopefully not too slowly) that while there is an extent to pursue justice, going beyond that risks alienating the people we came to love and serve. And while standing up for what is right is a strength, an obsession with it in a land where injustices are rife can backlash.

What transpire will only be felt in the days, weeks and months ahead. Only time will tell if things will improve or worsen.

I may not know what tomorrow will bring but I know one thing— that as long as God gives us a day here to serve, I will keep looking for glimpses of hope. Glimpses of peace. Glimpses to remind myself that God never forced me to stay here, obeying Him is my choice not His coercion, and He loves me enough to lead me gently, kindly.

Thank you friends.