I guess, after all that was said and exchanged over the dinner table, I felt pretty distraught.
Decisions. We were talking about major decisions and there was a bundle of them weighing upon my shoulders. They felt heavy, discrete, and lost in a tangle in my hands. I thought I knew my priorites, I thought I knew which decision superseded the other. But after the exchange of words, the intertwining of hands and the battle of wills, I felt a great sense of loss and lost-ness.
I thought I was on the right track. I thought I knew where I was heading. But this now throws me 0ff-track and sends me reeling, off-balance.
Then I realized, just how much letting go I needed- of what I thought was most important to me, for what is infinitely more important in eternity.
Today, I was touched by a friend’s heartfelt letter:
“And then I try to trust God who loves me deeply and is omnipotent –
our errors cannot overcome His will.
I do my best to do what I think I sense is what He prefers.
He is always with us even when we go off-track by mistake.”
And I rest in knowing that it is He and not myself, who holds my world in the palms of His hands.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says God.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
– Isaiah 55:8-9
Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge!
How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!
For who can know God’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to give him advice?
And who has given him so much
that he needs to pay it back?
– Romans 11:33-36