I felt the heat rising to my face. The kids were wailing from their vaccinations. We’d just waited for fifteen minutes in line for their ice cream cones and now, you don’t like the flavor?!
When I saw the look in my six-year old firstborn’s face, eyes pooled with a deep hunger for my approval, something in me awoke. Thankfully, I came to my senses in time.
This is how this ice-cream incident humbled me. I learnt two things-
#1. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, my goal as a parent is not to make my kids happy. It is to impart resilience. If I can accept this, I will not force my child to be happy just to meet my personal KPIs.
I’m learning, that the best way to impart resilience is to model what toleration of discomfort looks like, even if it means holding the tension between us when my child disagrees or has an opinion or liking that’s different from mine.
#2. My ability to tolerate my child’s dissent from me will help her draw better boundaries, learn self respect, and learn to say no to people-pleasing in future.
Parent and parent-to-be friends, we might not get it right the first time, but we can keep trying. 💛
Cheers to trying more ice cream flavors— even those we don’t like!
🍦🍨🍧🧊