“What are you two fighting about?” A little voice piped.
It was Christmas Eve. We were in the car heading to the supermarket, and an argument erupted.
If you’ve been in a relationship long enough, you’ll know that nearly all your arguments are never really about what they seem on the surface.
“It’s just… I don’t feel connected to you. This doesn’t feel like a vacation. We are here, but you’re still working in your head.”
Relief washed over me, as tears flooded my eyes.
“I’m so glad you said that…” I confessed. “What can I do to turn this around?”
If only in every conflict, we would see that what we are both fighting about- is not something against each other. We’re on the same side, fighting for something greater than ourselves- purpose, meaning, connection.
It was Christmas morning when I realized, I’d been so busy writing cards and packing presents for everyone else… except for my own husband, and children.
“Mama, I’m so excited you have a present for us AFTER Christmas!” My five-year old said, filled with undeserved faith in my goodness.
On Boxing Day morning today, I sat on the bench press at the gym and started to cry.
Over the year, this has been the recurrent theme- of needing to work less and be present more.
What’s the point of Christmas checkboxes ticked and work goals rushed through the year-end season, when we’ve failed to be present for those who want our presence the most?
I wrote over a hundred cards, before realizing on Boxing Day… that I should have written the first ones for my children and husband. I packaged dozens of gift bags for extended family and friends, only to find myself at Walmart a day after Christmas picking up what my own kids really wanted.
If you’re rushing through the year-end season trying to finish up your goals, would you, like me, make rest and being present your #1 goal? 🙏🏾 It will ultimately be worth it.
Thank you @cliff.tam for calling me out and for loving me, still. Thank you for always having a gift for me no matter what🎁