My eyes stung.
When my five-year old said those words from her heart, tears gushed out of my eyes.
“What did you say?”
I’d carved out a quiet moment to ask her-
“Mummy’s going to ask you 3 questions, OK?”
Her eyes twinkled, “YES, MAMA!”
“One- what do you want Mama to do more of?”
“Play more with me!”
I smiled.
“Two- what do you want Mama to keep on doing?”
“Keep cooking yummy food for me!”
I brimmed.
“Three- what do you want Mama to do less of?”
“Stop looking at your phone so much.”
A devastating revelation dawned upon me. When I put her first and third answers together, the epiphany drew back the curtains and revealed a fresh, blinding light.
Crushed, I held back tears, “I’m so sorry, Sarah-Faith.”
My unhealthy attachment to work through my phone was leaking out of me. I hated it- Yet, something always tugged me away- a text, an email, social media. I kept failing.
As God spoke to me, I resolved one day to put my phone physically away from me for just ONE unbroken hour each day, to be PRESENT for my children. JUST ONE HOUR.
It shocked me, how little an hour was, and yet, how much strength it took to hold myself back.
But it did not get easier. I needed a way to keep myself accountable.
I asked a friend to help me create an accountability worksheet for myself called “PRESENT FOR YOU,” a play on words- because I think the greatest gift we can give our children is our time.
For every unbroken hour of play (or more) each day I can give to my children, I shade a diamond on my fridge, where my children can see it too. It might be little, but it’s a goal I want to work up.
“You’re a good Mummy,” Sarah-Faith whispered to me one day. “I know you try hard.”
Though this is extremely personal to me, i thought to myself that maybe, there might be people out there who might need it too.
If you, like me, have struggled with balancing technology use and being present, I hope this gift will help you be present for a loved one, whether or not you’re a parent ❤️💛
PS: If you feel led to embark on this together with me, please leave a comment below and share what your personal challenge to unplug & be present looks like. I will pick 2 people to gift one of my favorite books “The Gifts of Imperfection.” Thank you!