Each morning, he is there, faithful and determined, helping her practice her vocal cords, speaking with her, encouraging her. Many people stop and stare but they are unflinching. She is stoic from paralysis, while he is unyielding, faithful.
In the wee hours of the morning on my daily jogs, my favorite part of my time alone is to watch the early sun rays glimmer on the reservoir as the earth heaves awake, and see the familiar sight of an elderly man pushing his wife, stiffened and paralyzed, on a wheelchair.
As time passed, I began to smile and wave as I jogged past them, yearning to share my gratitude for their lives. They were a monument of unabashed love, a banner of hope unfailing.
I would think about my own life, if I could do the same for Cliff, should cancer return. Or if, in the mission field, we might need urgent evacuation from health crises, as four close missionary friends I knew required. I have contemplated how widowhood would look like, since it, at times, still feels like a tangible possibility.
But what if the road were different? What if the suffering was longer drawn, different from what any of us expected?
I think about what I’ve read recently in “Becoming Elisabeth Elliot,” by Ellen Vaughn, how Elisabeth, the famous missionary widow and wife to Jim Elliot who was speared by the Waodani tribe, shared that the right question to ask is not “Why?” but “What”.
Not why this, Lord? But WHAT would you have me do Lord?
On my jogs I find myself asking God where we will end up serving as a family. If we will choose our location based on comfort, convenience or the comments of what we perceive others may have of us. If we will waver from fear of what might happen, or from unexpected twists in the plot.
We all love the great stories of victory in the Bible- of Esther’s courage after she was willing to die “If I perish, I perish!” and of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego’s courage, “Even if our God will not save us, we will not bow down to your gods!”
But what if, in the blazing furnace, the three men were consumed by the fire? What if, even though her people got saved, Esther gave up her life?
Don’t we all want the victory, the well-plotted stories that circle back to God’s faithfulness.
But the words that come back to me are “trust and obey.”
If metrics were our yardstick, wouldn’t we all clamour for them, to justify our sufferings and sacrifices? But how much would be enough to tip the scales of justice back in balance for us for our pain, afflictions and disappointments?
I look at this couple- the joy and faith they embody, and think to myself, they got it.
God did not save them from the furnace. They went right in- and found Him there.
Today, after seeing them day after day for nearly 9 months, my heart’s prayer was answered when the elderly man approached me to say hello. We talked for a few seconds and then to my delight he asked if I was a believer, if he could have my number to send their written testimony to me.
Suddenly everything made sense- that hope He carried, was the hope of glory!
The meek but powerful testimony of their lives of joy and acceptance displayed the loud message that they were in it not for what they could get from Him, but for what they can surrender.
Can I- can we live our lives that way?
As I struggled with the past months of a series of tragic news, and counted the cost of what the future might bring, I asked myself- what if it all never made sense. What if the metrics never measured up. What if Jim Elliot died for nothing.
I am reminded- that to believe, is to trust. And trust, in its purest form, leads to obedience.
And with that, I can sing, that no matter how dire the outcome, I can still trust and obey, for there is no other way.
No matter the inexplicability of tragedy, the sun rises faithfully day after day over the waters.
Even when we don’t understand, He holds the world in His hands.
With uncanny timing, Cliff textes me today’s devotional from Oswald Chambers: “The true test of a saint’s life is not successfulness but faithfulness on the human level of life. We tend to set up success in Christian work as our purpose, but our purpose should be to display the glory of God in human life, to live a life “hidden with Christ in God” in our everyday human conditions (Colossians 3:3). Our human relationships are the very conditions in which the ideal life of God should be exhibited.
I run past the couple. The old man smiles at me and waves goodbye.
See you tomorrow, when the sun comes out.
