When the ground under our feet began to shake last week, I knew it was the earthquake. Minutes later, we found out that the epicentre was in our district in Nepal. As we shuddered from the memories of the devastating earthquake which had released its full wrath one year ago, our Nepalese friends unleashed a stream of stories- of crumbling buildings, makeshift tents, and restless nights.
We were nervous, not knowing if this was the beginning of another massive quake, or just another one of the over 400 aftershocks.
A year ago when the vengeful April 2015 earthquake struck Nepal, my husband and I were in Uganda, far away from the convulsive tremors coming from the heart of the earth. Yet, as I saw pictures of the children I knew so fondly sleeping in tents for nearly two months in the winter, I was heartbroken.
This wasn’t –just- news. These were people we knew, children and friends who had changed my life.
I wondered if they were safe, or injured. Shortly after, my thoughts drifted to their Home, the Home which my first book, Kitesong, had sowed into ten years ago, when I was an awkward teenager wondering if life was really meaningful and if God really existed.
Had it crumbled? Was it now rubble and stone? With a magnitude of 7.8 on the Richter scale right in the heart of the city where the Home was located, no one could be sure.
Ten years ago when I was 18, a 6-week stay with the children changed my worldview forever. God used a little dream I had to paint a picture book to raise $110’000 for a permanent home for these little ones. As I returned to visit them twice more after, they became a significant part of my life. That one incident shaped and continues to shape my belief in humanity and God.
But for the remaining 7 years, as I travelled on different mission trips, I didn’t have the opportunity to return.
I wondered- had all the work now been wasted? Was everything now cinders and ash? Should I have visited them earlier, more often? Would it have made a difference.
Sitting at the porch of our little African home, I was reminded of a verse:
Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.(1 Cor. 3:13)
I was shaken.
The thought of a crumbled home sent tremors into my being. But really, it was the sobering reality that our work, tried by trials, fires and shakings, may crumble- which shook me to my core.
For all the fanfare and man’s praise that we receive on earth for our work, how much of it will really stand in eternity? I knew I stood guilty- all these years, I had received attention, awards and recognition for the work which really was the culmination of a collective effort, orchestrated by God. Now, would it stand, or would it perish?
I was reminded of a story, of a little old lady and a sterling evangelist in heaven, carrying a pile of works they had accomplished on earth. Before they entered the heavenly gates, however, their works went up in flames. The evangelist’s towering pile of works were burnt like tinder, leaving only a handful of works remaining. The little old lady’s pile, however, though much smaller initially compared to the evangelist’s, left behind a far greater pile of works, glistening like precious gold, purified from the fiery flames.
At the end of our lives, shall we not be judged by the purity of our motives, and the intents of our hearts, more than the showy, glamourous accomplishments applauded by the eyes of a spectating world.
At the end of the day, Who and what are we living for?
A few days camping in the fields turned into months for the children, due to the recurrent aftershocks. But I received news that the Home remained intact. Not a brick crumbled.
Eventually, all 30 children moved back into the Home. The 5th storey was hacked off to placate the neighbours, anxious that it might collapse on them in another earthquake.
Seven years ago at my last visit, the girls made me promise I would bring my boyfriend in future. I promised myself, that as soon as the opportunity availed itself, I would bring Cliff to see the work that began ten years ago, when God revealed His miraculous self to a broken 18-year old who was looking for hope and meaning in life.
Over the past ten days, as we accepted an invite to conduct a youth conference in Nepal, all the seismic unrest my heart had experienced came into divine alignment. We saw the smoggy city still framed by beautiful mountains, the Home now painted in emerald blue and yellow, and the children whom I had remembered, now growing up into blossoming young ladies.
They remembered me, as I remembered them.
As I sat down with some of the girls to take the exact same photo we had taken ten years ago, it was Cliff who reminded me, that this photo showed not merely the friendship that stood the test of time and distance, but the faithfulness of God to uphold not only the physical building, but to grow each and every one of these young girls into pillars of a palace, daughters of a better kingdom.
Those who had graduated from the Home were now living lives far better than if they had never entered those loving doors. Some would have died being abandoned, others mistreated. Two had married, one had delivered a child, one had become a nurse. Upon knowing we were visiting, they had travelled for hours back to the Home for to see us.
“Didi (big sister) Wai Jia, thank you for bringing Bhena (big brother) Cliff to see us. He is so funny, so much fun.”
We are living in days of uncertainty- days where earthquakes, fires and natural disasters will only become more common. I am reminded to cherish relationships which matter, and plough into works which will last for eternity.
When tested by shakings and fire, will we stand or fall?
I am certain that in my life, I have stumbled in pride, self-righteousness and vainglory, even when “doing good” in the eyes of men. But my prayer is that as I stand in reverence at the work that remains, that I will always remember that it is, and has always been, God who chooses us to partner in His work, never the other way around…
… such that when I see Him face to face, I shall not have a heapful of ashes, but precious gold, gold which has withstood the furnace of fire and the shakings of the earth, to return gloriously back to Him.
the Home, standing strong today
the same girls (nearly!), ten years apart
All the girls in the Home, as of April 2016
“Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers;
but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
With good will doing service,
as to God, and not to men.”
– Ephesians 6:6-7