There’s no better way to celebrate love
than to serve alongside you.
As we shared our journey with the crowd of youth,
we talked about some principles which helped to save us from heartache,
and help propel us into God’s calling for our lives.
1. Work out Your Inner Man
It’s easy to wonder why no one out there is a good match for us. We wonder where our “other half” is.
The truth is, there’s no reason for us to be searching our missing half if we were whole to begin with. Being in a relationship does not fix the emotional baggage you carried with you. If anything, it could compound it further.
The aim of a relationship is not to fill the holes in lives, but to intentionally seek out ways to help the other person launch out and be propelled further into God’s highest callings for their lives.
So stop wasting time “looking around”. Take hold of the present to deal with your existing “heart issues”- selfishness, pride, lust, frivolity, anger, cynicism. Focus on rooting out the weeds in your life.
That’s what it means to work out your inner man.
2. Act honorably
When two people are in love, it’s feels like fun to do it in secret.
The problem is, being in love is never about two of you. It’s always be about the greater good, about God’s greater purposes for your lives and the lives of your loved ones.
I remember when Cliff first wanted to fly from Canada to meet me, I asked a respected mother-figure mentor if it was a good idea and she said no. Instead of being disappointed, Cliff told me that he wanted to honour and submit to the people God had placed above me.
That won my respect.
Later, when God did open the doors miraculously for him to make his way to Singapore, Cliff’s honorable character consistently shone through in his asking my father and pastors permission to take me out, and to wait patiently for my parents’ agreement (after initial disagreements) for my hand in marriage.
Today, he is the favorite family member and friend of my circle of loved ones.
This is the kind of steel and sincerity found only in men of honorable character.
3. Put God First
We were sharing with a giggly and exuberant group of young people, that before we went to Uganda, there were concerns if it would be bad for our marriage, to have to endure the stresses of the unknown so early on in our relationship.
But we maintain, the best way to strengthen a relationship is through serving God, as you overcome battles and leap into the unknown together.
If housing, wedding and work issues come before God’s calling, you will always fall short of what He has in mind not just for each of you, but for both of you as a unit.
Together, the power of influence you can have on the world isn’t just two-fold, three-fold or even four-fold. With Him as your anchor, your influence to make a positive difference can be exponentially magnified.
He has to be the centre of it all.
“A marriage that follows God’s plan takes more than a woman and a man.
It needs a oneness that can be only from Christ.
Marriage takes three.”
– Beth Stuckwisch