In Uganda, it doesn’t matter how young a woman looks- every grown woman has children.
Commonly four, some have five, six or more. According to the World Health Organization statistics, the average number of children a Ugandan woman has is seven.
So it didn’t surprise me that Vee*, who looks younger than me, already has two children, aged 8 and 6. She is 30, but her youthfulness belies her hardships.
Vee is the lovely Ugandan lady who comes around once a week to clean our home, which is a hostel within the public health institute compound. She works for the institute, which provides a weekly cleaning service for volunteers like us, staying on-site.
One day many months ago, I found her diligently cleaning our home floors. Two weeks ago, we had left her a note and a little cake we bought to thank her for making our home so clean and lovely to stay in.
“Wow, you have 2 children already? You look so young!”
She looked at me and asked, “You?”
“Sinnazara,” I said.
In the Luganda language, it literally means, “I have yet to produce.” After being asked this question umpteen times, I have had to learn how to reply.
She laughed. As we chatted more, I asked how long she had been working at the public health institute and where she stayed. Surprisingly, she lived 30 minutes away, and just ten minutes from the village church Cliff and I help at.
“How about your husband?” I asked.
“How do I say this? He has left.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. Part of me had expected the answer- after all, even at the village churches we visit weekly, most of the congregation are women with several young children, without husbands.
“Men these days,” she said, “You just don’t know.”
“Do you stay with your parents?”
“ No. They passed away when I was very young.”
I didn’t probe more.
Part of me knew it was likely from AIDS, a disease that has ravaged the country, a disease that the public health institute I volunteer at has spent decades to treat and prevent.
“ I am struggling here, trying hard for my children to pay their school fees.”
A little 2-room home, is where they stay in.
“I don’t know how I will continue to pay for my children’s school fees,” she said. “I am just praying. I’m going to work hard. God has a better plan for me than this.”
Her daughter and I at her home
Vee has plans. When she has saved enough, she would like to start her own small enterprise, find a bigger place, and rent a room out for income.
In Uganda, the needs are many. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed by them, not knowing where to start. Other times, we exercise wisdom, discretion and determination just to try and discern what we can and should take up. Nonetheless, for every life that comes our way, we know it is not by accident.
While it is easy to give handouts and sponsorships, we had a deep burden for her to empower herself. With her skills, enterprise and diligence, we knew we could help her differently. Over the months, she has saved a few hundred dollars from her earnings, no small feat for a village woman. As she saved, we journeyed with her week after week, helping her come up with a business plan to further her own dreams. She has learnt book-keeping, saving and planning skills.
As time passed, we grew closer. While we never gave her money, we would share our food and groceries with her and her children. Unlike what has happened to some of our missionary friends, she never stole from us.
“Thank you, Wai. I appreciate this so much. With this, I can save more on food, for my children and my upcoming business capital.”
Her confidence has grown, and she is looking forward to starting her new business in the market in the coming months.
This was one of times where God spoke clearly to us, to withold money in order to help better. He knows better than we do.
One day, we returned home to find our window sill all dressed up with plants and flowers, carefully arranged in jam jars. We knew who was behind it immediately.
She texted me, “I wanted to give you a surprise.”
And in her sweet and poignant words, Vee said, “I may not have money to do much for you, to do what you have done for me… but I want to thank you for our friendship.”
What a priceless gift, no money can buy.
We’ll miss you, Vee.
And we’ll keep praying for you, for God to supply your every need.
“And my God shall supply all your need
according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
-Phil. 4:19“
*name changed