Pockets of Sunshine

*Thank you for your patience-here’s sharing our much-awaited post about our 2nd wedding ceremony in Canada.

It never occurred to me to have a rain plan. It sounded logical to have one for sure, but not once did it cross my mind that we might have to use it. After all, God had lavishly blessed us with a dream garden wedding all the way in Canada (Toronto Botanical Gardens had watched our video and wanted to “make it happen” for us in spite of our tiny budget). So, surely God would not have us there to wed in such elaborate anticipation, only to have it pour on us. Weeks before the wedding, Cliff and I held hands daily and prayed for blue, blue skies. Surely, granting us good weather would not be too difficult for God who had made this second wedding come to pass in such an incredulous manner.

The morning was familiar and exciting at the same time. Without the nervewrecking sentiments of the first wedding celebration, it was thoroughly enjoyable to bask in the love of Cliff’s family. Their cosy home, warm hospitality and enthusiasm to be hands-on was utterly refreshing. Cliff’s mum epitomized the ultimate dream mother-in-law.

The venue was amazing. When we arrived, we were completely stunned by the beauty of these award-winning themed gardens, and swept away by the generosity of God’s abundant love for us. Our budget was enough to hold a barbecue gathering at a friend’s backyard, not at one of Canada’s Top Ten Wedding Destinations. 

So when the sky was overcast and a slight drizzle started, I looked up and prayed that the clouds would pass. Blue skies did not seem possible, but surely God could delay the rain for half an hour for us to exchange vows again?

But true enough, almost in uncanny conspiracy, it started to pour at ten-thirty, just as the wedding programme was about to start. Cliff came to look for me up in the bridal room to share the shattering news with me. As I watched the rain pelting down, I crouched down at a glass window in utter bewilderment, wondering if this all must be a bad joke told in bad timing. It felt like a dream, and I was waiting to wake up.

“We got to move the ceremony indoors like in the rain plan, Wai Jia. Okay?”

You held me to you, knowing how disappointed and close to tears I was. It was not just the unexpectedness of this morning shower that dampened my spirits, but my inability to reconcile this seeming mishap with a God whom I knew to be loving, honorable and true. Blue skies were the unspoken pledge of honor I thought I had between God and I. It took me a while to recollect myself. I was visibly shaken. But our guests were waiting- they had persevered in the drizzle outside until it was no longer possible to hold out, before moving indoors. I knew, that many of our friends and family, anxious about how I might have felt, must have been equally disappointed with the sour weather.

Wasn’t it all sunny a day ago, God? Didn’t the weather forecast say there would be only a chance at rain? What was so important geologically or cosmically that so required You to allow this untimely thunderstorm?

The questions marched on in my head. But as my husband gave me a kiss and a big hug and told me he loved me, and jokingly asked if I would still like to marry him in spite of the weather, I realized the show must go on. I went downstairs, and as I walked down the aisle indoors, though wishing I was outside in the sunshine in a garden, I had a sudden revelation:

that it is not our circumstances or perception of God’s blessings

that give us reason to show our gratitude to Him,

but our determination to trust in God’s goodness in any circumstance

that releases the full glory of the constancy and abundance of His love.

As I walked down the aisle and saw all our friends and family smiling at us, I realized, what right did I have to be angry at God? Did He not grant us this beautiful hall, and this beautiful venue to get married in? Did He not bless us with an amazing wedding gown for free? Did He not give us this wonderful opportunity to return to Canada, with our tickets partially sponsored by Cliff’s friends? Did I not see how abundant His love was for us to have the opportunity to marry, even again? Suddenly I realized: I could not allow one tiny black speck to cloud out the vast goodness and immense love of God.

Are you facing an unexpected storm in your life now? Unarmed, perhaps you, like me at the time, feel betrayed by God? Sometimes, storms come when we least expect it, and we shake our fists at a God whose allegiance we thought we deserved. After all, it can all seem so unfair. But perhaps, it is all about perspective- for when we choose to recognize our blessings, then do we find reason to celebrate, and celebrate in full.

The ceremony went on indoors and it was beautiful. We were even more emotional while saying our vows than at our first wedding last year. As I looked around, I realized how much God had blessed us, and started to be filled with thanksgiving at the friends and family who had come to support us, the amazing gourmet spread and buffet prepared for us with our meager budget that could only have been enough to serve our guests milk and brownies, and the beautiful flowers, decoration and wedding cake set up by and given to us by those who loved us dearly.

 

 It was pouring outside, but by merely shifting my eyes to see my blessings instead of my loss, I saw the entire hall filled with love, favor and grace. In the first place, we never deserved any of this. This beautiful hall was rented out to us by Toronto Botanical Gardens at a very small token sum which would have been unimaginable, had it not been their generosity.

As I did my book reading of “i love you” and as we gave our sharing about how God had used the $40’000 raised from our first wedding last year to build a guesthouse in Cambodia to create more jobs for women rescued from human trafficking and how we were going to give all the money we received from this occasion as well to an anti-trafficking ministry in Calcutta, we saw sombre faces. At once, I saw that the meaning of this beautiful ceremony lay in the invisible- love, generosity, trust, obedience, faith and sacrifice… and not in the colour of the sky.

Then the rain stopped. As the sunshine peered through the dark clouds and danced upon the garden, now dripping with colors, Cliff and I headed out with the pastor. There, we sealed our vows a third time, and laughed that truly, three times works the charm.

Shortly after, it started pouring again. As we visited a stable nearby for our photo shoot with some horses, I was disappointed again not to be able to go outdoors. But as before, the rain stopped as abruptly as it had started, and the misty afterglow of a temperamental shower left a magical touch to the gardens. The beautiful dark stallion, affectionately named “Mister T”, was wonderfully cooperative, and we had so much fun in and out of the rain.

I learnt a very important lesson that day- that the rain in our lives, unexpected or not, does not change or malign God’s character. If we choose to focus on the rain, then we shall have very little to be grateful for. But when we choose to intentionally thank God for the pockets of sunshine that come our way, then there is much to celebrate in life and be grateful for in this journey called life. We can choose to be bitter at the rain clouds, or choose joy in the warm golden glow, even if it only lasts a few moments. Looking back, I was filled with gratitude that even in the midst of such terrible weather, God granted us just enough time to capture some beautiful moments.

 

As I felt God put this message in my heart, I was awash with hope, joy and love. No way did He ruin our wedding- He taught us an important life message. More importantly, I felt He was telling me that in the next past of our journey together as a couple, we might face unexpected storms and unfair weather, but if we choose to trust and abide in God, we will find much to celebrate, and realize that those pockets of sunshine, though seemingly brief, will tide us through the rough times with joy and hope, gladness and gratitude.

 

So that day we went home wet and tired. But we felt closer to each other than ever before. We also realized that the AV system outdoors had not been working, so performing the ceremony indoors then going outdoors later for a more personal renewal of our vows was simply perfect.

Giddy with laughter, we had so much to share in retrospect. Most importantly, we had created unforgettable memories together of barefoot adventures in the soft grass, trawling my wedding gown through the stable admiring the variety of beautiful horses, falling into each others’ arms and huddling close to avoid getting wetter than we already were.
We were drenched in laughter, soaked through our skin with fun. It was as if we had promised each other, that no storm would dampen our spirits, and no rain would quench our love. We were determined to celebrate, and celebrate we did.

Through the pockets of sunshine, I saw the mercies, goodness and love of a God whose character is unchanging and true. And through that, we felt closer to Him than ever before.

So if you are facing an unexpected storm in your life today,

look out for the pockets of sunshine.

We may not ever understand why it ever rained on us,

but surely, we will find joy in the rain and laughter in the afterglow of a rainstorm if we choose to.

As we celebrate God’s goodness in spite of our circumstance,

we may be surprised to find ourselves drenched in joys unspeakable, and in blessings, unmerited.

 

Love.

 

Ask ye of the Lord rain in the time of the latter rain;

so the Lord shall make bright clouds, and give them showers of rain, to every one grass in the field.

– Zechariah 10:1

 

* With heartfelt thanks to Cliff’s amazing family and friends who put this ceremony together; Paulina and Daniel from Toronto Botanical Gardens, for going out of their way to make this a dream come true for us; Sandra Bosscher for the wonderful memories and amazing photos; and God, for being who You are.

Through your generosity, the $7000 CDN which we received through this occasion has gone to supporting an anti-trafficking ministry/social enterprise called TouchNature in Calcutta, and a children’s home there. Look out for the next post for more details.